Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

I tried to keep my mouth shut but I won’t. Here’s Trina’s next single off of her upcoming album “Still The Baddest B*tch.” Basically it sucks. Not only does this song suck, it sucks dingleberries [look up the definition and enjoy]. I’m going to need Trina to give up that tired “my p*ssy is ________” rap a rest. So over it……

Listen at your own peril or if you want to laugh at her major “suckage.”

Click HERE to listen

Chris Rock had Madison Square Garden rolling when he performed on Monday night, kicking off his six month tour. Here are some gems, what with the Iowa Caucuses and all……..

On Barack Obama: “Bush [bleeped] up so bad, now people are like, ‘We don’t want another white guy in the White House’ . . . but Barack don’t realize he’s the black candidate, talking in measured tones like he does.”

On Hillary Clinton: “I think America’s ready for a woman president . . . just not that woman. Being married to somebody doesn’t make you good at their job. I’ve been with my wife 10 years now. If she got up here right now, y’all wouldn’t laugh. At all. You get on a plane tomorrow, you want the pilot’s wife flying you?”

On Rudy Giuliani: “Everyone says Giuliani was great on 9/11. Great on 9/11 . . . What about 9/10?”

What else is there to say? Real talk.

Source

OK…..
Now I’m going to be 26 years old in four days, so I’m not too old, but just old enough to remember LL Cool J’s “Going Back to Cali.” As a matter of fact, that joint is still on my MP3 player. I also remember Blaque using the same beat to remix “808″ back when I was in high school.

Omarion and Bow Wow have sampled it this time for their new single “Jump Off.” I honestly don’t know what to think. Is it going to be a “banger?” Sure. But it certainly doesn’t do LL or the beat any justice. Omarion’s hook, for me, is going AGAINST the beat. His “Sho Nuff” hair game is on point in the video though! Hey YOU be the judge! Sound off!

Spotted at Urban Review

Our second most favorite drunkie and co-dependent crack whore*, Lindsay Lohan, decided to have a bottle of bubbly on New Year’s Eve! Did they teach her that in her AA meetings?

I see you Lindsay! Who wants to bet that she does some f*ckery again in 2008??

*Britney has number one on lock!

Last year a sex tape featuring the “Long Island Lolita” (look it up) Amy Fisher was supposedly leaked and she “threatened” legal action. Guess she changed her mind because she’s having a Sex Tape Release Party! I guess it’s the #1 video in the nation. See don’t believe the hype okay? When sex tapes get “leaked” it really means that they gave it to their “mans an’ ‘em” for distro.

Formerly Known as “Long Island Lolita”, Amy Fisher…To Mix Music as Guest DJ for the First time ever
at Her Sex Tape Release Party celebrating it being the # 1 Video in the Nation

New York, NY – Formerly known to the public as the Long Island Lolita,
is an American woman convicted of the 1992 shooting of the wife of her lover (Joseph “Joey” Buttafuoco) with whom she began an affair as a 16 year-old student at Kennedy High School in Bellmore, New York. Fisher served seven years in prison for aggravated assault and was released in 1999.

Amy Fisher is back and will be hitting the turntables as a guest DJ, Friday January 4, 2008 at 10pm at 513 W28th Street in Manhattan. Ms Fisher will be joined by NYC Club Guru “JE” Englebert. The controversial sex video which Amy Fisher is featured will be displayed their. The tape was produced by the same company as the famed Paris Hilton tape. The Amy Fisher video is now the #1 video tape in the United States.

WHEN: Friday, January 4th 2008 @ 10pm

WHERE: RETOX
513 W28th Street between 10th and 11th Avenues
MANHATTAN, NY

For Immediate Release: Contact Gail Kaufman 212-564-4692

Well there is no shame in her game, so there won’t be in mine. I need to get my sex tape release party going ASAP. I’m thinking “Preggies In Peenland” would be perfect! Maybe “Juggs And Gut?”

“He’s always gonna be Gay-Z no matter what. We could do business or even if he wants a beat from Havoc, that nigg*’s still Gay-Z to me.”

LMAO! Prodigy sure is pissed about that incident huh? I mean wow……
Source

Happy Thursday! You know how I show you my love? A RehDogg video. Hey! It’s better than me inviting you to my island “resort” and giving you some Kool-Aid to drink…..

I got hipped to this cat from being over at C&D last year and I gotta tell ya…..he’s THE BEST. Would it be bad to admit that I actually think about him when I’m alone in the tub??**

What’s not to like about this video? We’ve got the Ike Turner bowl cut wig going on, the black cape for the black hobbit effect, the yelping like a dying moose, AND the piece de resistance: the quick glimpse of two dogs humping. This is everything I ever wanted in a video. Word to Missy and Busta Rhymes circa 1995.

**LOL yeah right…if I were thinking of drowning myself.

Click here to read! Posts on Ron Paul and how hip-hop today is like the hair metal of yesterday!

*In best Cartman voice: “CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!”*

Kidding……….
Anyway Ne-Yo has sued R. Kelly’s Double Up tour promoter for firing him after just two shows where he was the opening act. This is serious, they’re going to make you delirious….

R&B singer Ne-Yo sued the promoter of the R. Kelly Double Up tour for firing him after two shows as the opening act, claiming that the audience and the critics liked him better, according to court papers obtained on Wednesday.

Ne-Yo, whose real name is Shaffer Smith, and Compound Touring Inc. filed the suit Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court against Georgia-based Rowe Entertainment Inc., alleging breach of contract and violation of the right of publicity.

Compound Touring and Smith are seeking unspecified damages, but the suit maintains he was to be paid $785,000 for 25 shows opening for Kelly’s “Double-Up Tour” that began Nov. 14 and is still owed $735,000.

I hope Ne-Yo gets him JUST for contributing such f*ckery as “I’m a Flirt” and “Same Girl.” Hell if I was the judge, I’d sentence him to death by firing squad.

(Spotted at Singersroom.com)