Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Yes Yung Jackass Joc gets idiot of the day for taking a gun to the airport and attempting to board a plane. To make matters worse, he missed his arraignment.

*sings “there he is…Mr. Idiot…..”*

OOOOH Yung Joc’s video for his next single “Bottles Poppin” looks so original. It’s like nothing I have ever seen before! I mean he is SO revolutionary…….

Some people will say that there isn’t a hint of homo-eroticism in mainstream hip-hop these days but I beg to differ. I will use Screamfest Pukefest as an example:

Is it just me or does the photo come off a little zesty? This is wrong on so many levels.

Everything about this cat just says nasty. I for the life of me don’t know how she didn’t choke on her own vomit from him tilting her head back.

WHY??? Why is your shirt off Fifty? WE GET IT!

Your shirt should DEFINITELY not be off. Olive Oyl’s black half-brother looking behind. He looks like the missing black smurf.

Boy I hate motherf*ckers who can’t dress for Awards shows. *LOL* You thought I would say it huh? Oh no, but it’s coming. I’ll just let Chris Rock say it.

Moving along! The Black Association For Low Expectations And Tacky Dressing aka rappers at the Ozone Awards were in full effect yesterday! Oh the couture was ON POINT!!! Let’s take a look at the men shall we?????

DJ Khaled was there in all his greasy glory. Yay!

Mr. “Squeal Like A Pig” Plies was there too. *sigh* I guess Plies realizes his career in rap will be short lived that’s why he obviously felt like he could just roll up to the awards in house clothes. He looks like somebody’s loser ass uncle named Lucky. Jesus be a suit and tie.

Black Frankenstein err…I mean Slim Thug was there. No word on whether or not he did the “monster mash.”

Hurricane Chris of “A Bay Bay” fame and Soulja Boy made an appearance. I really wish they hadn’t because I wasn’t prepared to witness THAT much ugly in one photo. Someone get the acid for my eyes…..

Rick Ross and Fat Joe aka “The Bacon Grease Brothers” were there representing those of us who sweat bacon fat instead of normal sweat. I bet their sweat glands are shaped like hamburgers. I’m damned sure positive they don’t wear Eau de Cologne but Eau De Fried Chicken. *SMDH* They smell like a damned kitchen.

And last but not least Yung Joc was there. Joc’s physique looks improved but I still wouldn’t smash. Actually there is one thing I find arousing on him and that’s his HUGE nose. I bet when he goes “downtown” he’s a champ cause he’s got TWO things going for him: his tongue at the bottom and his nose at the top. Call me Joc!!

That rounds out the men but the chics are EVEN worse!

ANGIE!!! Where have you been? I haven’t seen her since VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club. Good to see that she has kept some of the weight off. I need her to release another album for me though…..

Assface Yung Joc and Amerie posed in all their D-listed glory. Ah! Non-talent love!

Who invited the Cheetah Girls???

Chudney Ross is such a cute person but God…..her facial expression and smile is just HARD to look at. It seems like it HURTS!

The lovely Ms. Erykah Badu in all her glory. She can do no wrong…

ATL and Chitlin Circuit actress Lauren London was there to get some free stuff.

The zestfully irritating Pretty Ricky boys were there. There are so many things wrong with this picture I won’t even waste the time. I hate the motherfuckers.

The Shop Boyz showed up this year. The clock is ticking bitches!!! 15 minutes will be up in NO time and you will not be there next year.

Sean Kingston has a cute little song out on the radio. They are KILLING it in Seattle. That’s my Jamaican cousin and all but I must say that I hope his swag bag included some Pro-Activ in it. I’m just saying…..

Yung Joc, the rapper responsible for last summer’s hit “It’s Goin’ Down,” has a wrench thrown into his plans for a summer release of his next album. The album, called Hustlenomics slated for release July 31st has been pushed back to August 28th. Guess he’s one step closer to “one hit wonder” status. Let’s be real….he knew it was coming and so did we. Even a blind man could see that. Whatever surprise I had at the news was gone after I read that he was on Bad Boy. That explained it all.

Joc wil be joining his labelmates Boyz N da Hood, Elephant Man and Jordan McCoy who are all also releasing records in August.

Joc’s sophomore set is set to feature appearances from Sean “Diddy” Combs, The Game, Young Dro, Pharrell Williams and Trick Daddy, among others. The set’s first single, “Coffee Shop,” which features Gorilla Zoe is already getting rotation on major radio stations.

He better hope that album isn’t leaked by the time it’s released. I know he’s still paying that monstrosity on his neck off.

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