Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

That’s one HELL of a side eye Mary. She is not only giving me major side eye but she’s also giving me the “unsavory” look.

Mary was out at Carol’s Daughter looking well as usual. I am really hoping she changes her hair soon because I am getting major Ike Turner bowl cut action right now.

Actor and R&B singer Jamie Foxx held his bazillionth birthday party this month at Jet nightclub and ummm…it looks like only Martin Lawrence showed up to this one. We get it! You’re 40! Congratulations. Can we celebrate somebody else’s birthday now? You know, like maybe Jesus? And some guy named Kwanzaa*???

*I kid lol

Rapper Eve was spotted out and about in West Hollywood yesterday, wearing her Cartier shades. Nice look, but something about her hair is sending me ill vibes. Is the wig on straight?

Omarion and Bow Wow, also known as The Pimp and The Leprechaun, visited TRL today to promote their album “Face Off.” *screams* I can hardly contain myself.

Might I add that Omarion’s man-weave hair is a beautiful thing to behold. His picture just screams “look at me bitch! I’m Hawaiian silky!”

Round 1! Fight!

Kerry Washington and Zoe Saldana were at the 7th annual Hollywood Life Breakthrough of the Year Awards.

I am not sure what to say about EITHER of these dresses, so I am going to leave it up to you all.

Kimora Lee Simmons held a little shindig for the release of her new clothing line. A new clothing line? YAY!!! I just had one question for you guys out there:

How much you wanna bet that the girl in yellow is getting a mean hard-on straight to the small of her back in this picture?

I like this song for some reason. It’s cute and it’s fun. I just wonder if the audience *side eyes* got it. I mean Ellen’s audience isn’t known for being huge Snoop fans. I’m just saying…….

Will Smith was STYLIN’ on hoes at the Tokyo premiere of “I Am Legend.” He is proof that looking your age is sexy as all hell *side eyes rappers over 30*

I was so SURE that Chopper (Da Band fame) was working at a Piggly Wiggly and was too busy to do any type of “flossin.” Guess I was wrong. He’s not too busy. The night shift manager let him out of work on Saturday night PROVIDING he would get back on his loading/unloading game on Sunday. I’m sure Puffy sends his regards.

David Banner showed up. I just can’t get over how damned ignorant he is. I have no words.

DJ Quik looks tired as all hell…..

……And quite frankly so does Elise Neal. I know that one of Santa’s elves is PISSED that his best steppin’ out boots have been purloined and are worn by Miss Neal. Nice wig!

The guy in the middle is Christian Audigier, the designer for Ed Hardy. Awkward hand signs be damned, he made sure to get his “nigga cred” by posing with Baby and Lil’ Wayne. I like Weezy but why do his fingers make me recoil in disgust? A manicure is needed ASAP!

Ed Hardy is the heat though! Can’t wait to fit into one of those joints!

Ne-Yo performed last night with his usual zestful swagger. Usher called from way back in 1999. Yeah he wants his style sent back to him. Thanks…………

Missy Elliott showed up to show her newest “girl” some love. I swear she is looking at her like she’s a plate of neckbones or something….*suspect*

Although I think of Reynold’s foil just a little bit, Keyshia looks like she means business with her performance stance. Her hair is looking mad right too, even though Kelis had that style in the bag last year. Loves it regardless!!

P.S. Am I the ONLY one that thinks she looks like a background singer for Parliament Funkadelic with the silver????