Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Rihanna and T-Pain were just some of the offenders……

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been bought my wreath, black dress and black scarf to wear to the funeral for Soulja Boy’s career. Even though it’s obvious to anyone with half a brain this kid’s career is dying a slow death, he doesn’t seem to realize that it’s a wrap.

Here he is trying to come up with a new dance called the “Swag.” Peep for yourself, but here’s my synopsis:

1) This dance is more suitable at a gay bar or a gay pride parade because no heterosexual man can do this dance without looking like he takes nuts to his tonsils.

3) The dance reminds me of some chic’s makeup routine.

And last but not least……..

4) WHITE FOLK WON’T BE ABLE TO EXECUTE THIS DANCE!!! At least not in Seattle anyway…..*side eyes*

WHO lets this child make videos? WHO?? *cocks AR-15* I am serious. What gets me is the part where he says the teacher is trying to get him to go to school and so he comes to the house. What does Soulja Boy do? He yells “Yahh b*tch! Yahh!” at the teacher. *SMDH* There are NO words.

Congratulations to Amy Winehouse and Kanye West for raking in the Grammy nominations! There’s been so much crap on the album charts, these two deserve it. But ummm….where’s Britney Spears? She DESERVES a Grammy even if she missed the deadline! Where’s MY album? Read the list of nominations while I get my agent on the phone.

Selected List of Grammy Nominations

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal · Bon Jovi - “(You Want To) Make a Memory” · Daughtry - “Home” · Maroon 5 - “Makes Me Wonder” · Plain White T’s - “Hey There Delilah” · U2 - “Window in the Skies”

Best Hard Rock Performance · Evanescence - “Sweet Sacrifice” · Foo Fighters - “The Pretender” · Ozzy Osbourne - “I Don’t Wanna Stop” · Queens of the Stone Age - “Sick, Sick, Sick” · Tool - “The Pot”

Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal · Daughtry - “It’s Not Over” · Green Day - “Working Class Hero” · Nickelback - “If Everyone Cared” · U2 - “Instant Karma” · The White Stripes - “Icky Thump”

Best Metal Performance · As I Lay Dying - “Nothing Left” · King Diamond - “Never Ending Hill” · Machine Head - “Aesthetics of Hate” · Shadows Fall - “Redemption” · Slayer - “Final Six”

Best Rock Song · Lucinda Williams - “Come On” · The White Stripes - “Icky Thump” · Daughtry - “It’s Not Over” · Foo Fighters - “The Pretender” · Bruce Springsteen - “Radio Nowhere”

Best Rock Album · Daughtry - Daughtry · John Fogerty - Revival · Foo Fighters - Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace · Bruce Springsteen - Magic · Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

Best Pop Vocal Album · Bon Jovi - Lost Highway · Feist - The Reminder · Maroon 5 - It Won’t Be Soon Before Long · Paul McCartney - Memory Almost Full · Amy Winehouse - Back to Black

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance · Mary J. Blige - “Just Fine” · Fantasia - “When I See U” · Alicia Keys - “No One” · Chrisette Michele - “If I Have My Way” · Jill Scott - “Hate on Me”

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance · Raheem DeVaughn - “Woman” · Musiq Soulchild - “B.U.D.D.Y.” · Ne-Yo - “Because of You” · Prince - “Future Baby Mama” · Tank - “Please Don’t Go”

Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals · R. Kelly (featuring Usher) - “Same Girl” · Chaka Khan (featuring Mary J. Blige) - “Disrespectful” · Rihanna (featuring Ne-Yo) - “Hate That I Love You” · Angie Stone (featuring Betty Wright) - “Baby” · T-Pain (featuring Akon) - “Bartender”

Best R&B Song · India.Arie - “Beautiful Flower” · Rihanna (featuring Ne-Yo) - “Hate That I Love You” · Alicia Keys - “No One” · Musiq Soulchild - “Teachme” · Fantasia - “When I See U”

Best Contemporary R&B Album · Akon - Konvicted · Keyshia Cole - Just Like You · Fantasia - Fantasia · Emily King - East Side Story · Ne-Yo - Because of You

Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group · Common (featuring Kanye West) - “Southside” · Fat Joe (featuring Lil Wayne) - “Make It Rain” · Shop Boyz - “Party Like a Rockstar” {<---Yeah RIGHT! Damn if they'll win anything *lol*-Slim} · UGK (featuring Outkast) - “Int’l Players Anthem (I Choose You)” · Kanye West, Nas and KRS-One - “Better Than I’ve Ever Been”

West was nominated twice in the Best Rap Song category, grabbing nods for his tracks “Good Life” and “Can’t Tell Me Nothing,” which gives him the upper edge over fellow nominees 50 Cent (for “Ayo Technology”), T.I. (”Big Things Poppin’ “), and Soulja Boy “Crank That).” ‘Ye’s song “Stronger” will face off against 50’s “I Get Money,” Common’s “The People,” Jay-Z’s “Show Me What You Got,” and T.I.’s “Big Things Poppin’,” for Best Rap Solo Performance.

Nas’ “Hip Hop Is Dead” was also nominated *YEAH!!!!* I‘ll be sure to have a few Molotov cocktails ready JUST in case Soulja Boy wins. If he wins, the government better declare marshall law because the world as we know it will end……..

The Grammy’s will be held on February 10th!

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And this is his future: teaching white women to crank dat soulja boy at Bally’s gyms as part of his “aerobics class.”

It’s time to crank dat homeless man!

Highlights of this video:
1) Crank dat roach spray
2) Doo-doo taste like chocolate
3) “Crank dat job then you can crank dat paycheck.” LOL

Soul: Has flown away.
Will To Live: Barely there…….
Soulja Boy: Must be punished for this…..

Is it bad that I find this more enjoyable than any of his singles? I almost want the kid to hang around so that he can make me laugh more. If his music career doesn’t work out, him and his boy could always do like a modern day take on The Jerky Boys.

Oh boy! There is much to cover thanks to the BET Hip Hop Awards. *SMDH* I am truly at a loss for words. Let me get the pictures out of the way and then on to the drama with black doodlebop Clifford “T.I.” Harris. Lots of pics so yeah, enjoy!

This picture here sums up the state of hip hop. *SMDH* It’s not that I couldn’t find anything wrong with this picture, it’s just how much time ya got? I notice that gregarious ass chain he used to wear is missing. Behind on some payments, Joc?

Trina looked awkward. This looks like a photo outside of homecoming. I kind of like the dress though.

That’s right! BET is for the CHILDREN!!! COONING is for the kids!!

This picture says “homo-erotica” plain and simple. This is wrong on so many levels.

Where is Mims’ neck????? He reminds me of this Barbie doll I used to have after I broke her neck. I just forced the head back on to the body. She was never the same.

Keyshia looks like a wasp that went through too much white pollen in this picture. What did you want me to say? This is the vibe I get!

If I were KRS-One I wouldn’t have shown up personally. He looks happy to be there…….

Lil’ Mama looks nice for a change.

Aw come on man! Are there really no shirts? Vanity is a bitch.

LOL at Polow Da Don looking like the dweeb that he is. But is it bad that I like those glasses?

Ciara hid her man-shoulders! Good look! Now you just need some tits and you’ll look like a full-grown woman! LOL I kid.

David Banner cleans up nice!

Still trying to stay relevant eh, Hurricane Chris? What was he nominated for? The “Won’t Be Around Next Year” award?

Jazze Pha must find it incredibly difficult to move his head considering he has no neck.

WHY??????????

Big Boi looks like a black punk rock hobbit.

Aww Bun B has a wife?? Very cute couple.

This picture scared me. Cassidy looks like a spitting cobra.

Chingy is actually bothering the photographer for some spare change to help pay off that suit he rented.

Soulja Boy couldn’t crank himself into the #1 spot on the Billboard charts this week. The Boss spanked him……

OWNED!

Check it out:

With Magic, Springsteen’s 15th studio album and his first with the E Street Band since 2002’s The Rising, the pride of the Garden State freewheeled his way to Billboard’s peak, easily notching the eighth #1 opener of his 34-year career.

The Boss faced virtually no competition in his quest for #1, selling more than 335,000 copies of his latest during the record’s first week in stores, according to the latest SoundScan totals. The closest threat to the Boss’ chart domination, the parents of last week’s #1 LP, country trio Rascal Flatts, finished at #2 on next week’s albums sales chart, having generated sales of 167,900 (on the nose) for Still Feels Good. Following the Flatts at #3 is another new entry, Matchbox Twenty’s retrospective offering, Exile on Mainstream, which sold nearly 130,900 units.

He’s got the #1 single in the nation, but 16-year-old rapper Soulja Boy’s debut album, Souljaboytellem.com, will have to settle for #4 on next week’s top 200, thanks to sales of more than 117,000. That was one of 28 new releases to debut on the chart, and one of five to enter in the top five. R&B artist J. Holiday’s Back of My Lac’ was another, opening at #5 with 105,000 scans. Annie Lennox’s Songs of Mass Destruction is also new to this most recent chart, coming in at #9 with 78,300 copies sold.

Dropping four places to #6 this week is Keyshia Cole’s Just Like You, which scanned another 93,900 copies, cutting just in front of Kanye West’s Graduation, which slides two spots to #7 with 92,400 sold. Reba McEntire’s Reba: Duets takes the #8 slot, with sales reported at 79,600. Rounding out the top 10, with 76,600 copies sold for the week, is the soundtrack to “”High School Musical 2.” Surprisingly, 50 Cent’s Curtis has been bumped from the top 10 after just three weeks: The album sits in the #17 position, with sales of just under 50,600.

Damn Curtissssssssss!!! Damn! Maybe he’ll get more intelligence in his lyrics. Just a thought, Fifty!

Also, ummm….did anyone know that Bad Boy South’s Boyz N Da Hood released an album???? Neither did anybode else apparently.

Rappers Boyz N Da Hood return to the chart with their latest, Back Up N Da Chevy, which bows at #51 with 15,700 sold…

Well with Sean “Run Your Career Into The Ground” “Diddy” Combs at the helm, they’re lucky they sold more than 500 copies.

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