Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

*In best Cartman voice: “CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!”*

Kidding……….
Anyway Ne-Yo has sued R. Kelly’s Double Up tour promoter for firing him after just two shows where he was the opening act. This is serious, they’re going to make you delirious….

R&B singer Ne-Yo sued the promoter of the R. Kelly Double Up tour for firing him after two shows as the opening act, claiming that the audience and the critics liked him better, according to court papers obtained on Wednesday.

Ne-Yo, whose real name is Shaffer Smith, and Compound Touring Inc. filed the suit Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court against Georgia-based Rowe Entertainment Inc., alleging breach of contract and violation of the right of publicity.

Compound Touring and Smith are seeking unspecified damages, but the suit maintains he was to be paid $785,000 for 25 shows opening for Kelly’s “Double-Up Tour” that began Nov. 14 and is still owed $735,000.

I hope Ne-Yo gets him JUST for contributing such f*ckery as “I’m a Flirt” and “Same Girl.” Hell if I was the judge, I’d sentence him to death by firing squad.

(Spotted at Singersroom.com)

‘I want you……to pee on.’

In case you care, TMZ is reported earlier today that an arrest warrant was issued for R. Kelly’s arrest because he missed a 9 a.m. court date.

Honestly, WHO cares??? This old pervert with a penchant for urine has seriously beat the system for too long. *Yawn* Wake me when the hearing starts.

Ne-Yo performed last night with his usual zestful swagger. Usher called from way back in 1999. Yeah he wants his style sent back to him. Thanks…………

Missy Elliott showed up to show her newest “girl” some love. I swear she is looking at her like she’s a plate of neckbones or something….*suspect*

Although I think of Reynold’s foil just a little bit, Keyshia looks like she means business with her performance stance. Her hair is looking mad right too, even though Kelis had that style in the bag last year. Loves it regardless!!

P.S. Am I the ONLY one that thinks she looks like a background singer for Parliament Funkadelic with the silver????

I have no words. I really don’t. R. Kelly…I…I….see?? Damned speechless.

Spotted at AHM

But R. Kelly should really stop fronting and be real, because this video series actually deserves THIS kind of poster:

If that offends you, oh damned well. It’s real talk and it’s honesty. Would Marvin Gaye have done this? Luther? Even Keith Sweat? Gerald Levert? Kem?

Parts of the video are funny but I feel like this is more of a dog and pony show than a right honest comedy. There’s an awful lot of “coonery” going on. Like notable quotes:
“Crazier than a fish with titties.” WTF???? Can somebody PLEASE get my good butt whoopin’ belt so I can let R. Kelly have it please?
R. Kelly is such a talented singer and I was a huge fan but it seems like he’s said “F*CK EFFORT” and just puts out whatever the hell he wants to put out. He could sell sh*t on a stick and he would get away with it. *SMDH* To see the new “Trapped In The Closet” CLICK HERE. What do YOU think?

Were you on pins and needles just WAITING for the next installment of “Trapped In The Closet?” Were you agonizing over the INSIPID INSPIRING plot? I was! I could hardly eat for waiting and I was put on Zoloft to deal with the pressure. Never fear! We’re getting more! Oh joy! >:D >:D

That all changed today when Billboard.com shared some news on the next ten chapters of Trapped in the Closet. Here’s writer Jonathon Cohen’s website’s take on it:
The new round of “Trapped” videos finds Kelly portraying an old man named Randolph, complete with a pot belly and a fake white beard that nearly falls off mid-scene, as well as a preacher in a gray Jheri-curl wig and garish orange suit. In one of the final chapters, Kelly’s Sylvester character talks business with a “Sopranos”-esque mobster who is eating a giant plate of spaghetti.

The DVD will be released on August 21 and be preceded by a week of promotion on the Independent Film Channel, which will air the first 12 episodes and host the new entries on its website.

Alrighty then! What with “Who’s Your Caddy” coming out, Deelishis’ piece of sh*t ass video, and Michael Vick getting into trouble, I’m taking bets. On what you ask? I’m wagering that since we seem to be taking steps BACKWARDS, we’ll find ourselves back in slavery times in 5-10 years. In fact I’m so sure, I’m putting down two coupons for some Let’s Jam! hair gel, and some platanos (fried plantains) my mama made. *SMDH*
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By now you guys should know I’m not a fan of mainstream music for the most part so this is from me to those of you who care you. Enjoy! (Or not…..)
Spotted over at Sandra Rose!. I see she is on point!

R. Kelly’s new album “Double Up” is number one on the charts. Congratulations to R. Kelly on that. Some of the reviews:

NY Post “… Kelly’s not only smooth enough for the ladies, but rough enough for the fellas …”

The Philadelphia Inquirer “The album provides plenty of examples of the real reason that Kelly’s career continues to thrive … he keeps serving up the hot jams.”

He’s very eccentric and brash and just weird, not to mention those charges he’s facing, but the dude is consistent and stays busy. But that “Same Girl” song is whack….sorry!

R. Kelly appeared in court today. Yay that’s great! It’s been so long I think some folks forgot that he even had a sex tape. How old is the chic now? 50 years old?

R. Kelly arrived in a Chicago court on Friday for a status hearing in a child pornography case. Kelly was charged five years ago with 14 counts of child pornography for allegedly videotaping himself engaging in sex acts with an underage girl. The Grammy-winning performer has pled not guilty to all counts. Jury selection begins in July.

Can you also charge him for wearing those damned masks over his eyes looking like a Black Zorro? Thanks!
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Blender placed R. Kelly at number 48 on its list of the 50 craziest pop stars ever. Elton John, Chuck Berry and Mariah Carey also placed. Blender dropped the dime on Kelly with:

Chart-topping R&B sensation or poster boy for urination? Both!
Case History: He sleeps all day and plays basketball every midnight. He has been known not to change his underwear for days at a time and make his wife knock first before entering rooms in her own house. Then, of course, there’s his alleged enthusiasm for home-video hobbyism — plus those 21 counts of child pornography he’s dealt with.
Crazy Moment: Secretly marrying the 15-year-old Aaliyah probably could have been better thought out.
He’s So Crazy: “Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.”

And he STILL gets chics in the videos. Now THAT’S game. Your ass stinks to high hell but you pull these chics. BRILLIANT!
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