Okay now this shit is really getting old. What the fuck man? Is his closet chock full of nothing but boxers and shorts?!?!?!?

I swear looking at this picture, he doesn’t know slavery ended. Real talk, this bastid is probably wondering if he’s going to get whipped when he gets back to “massa” fields…

That cotton won’t pick itself, Plies!!!

La-la-la-la-la….That’s what I’m going to be singing as I take my happy little ass into the store to go cop “Tha Carter III” by Lil’ Wayne. Don’t act like you haven’t been anxiously awaiting this day either! I know you have. Even if you are a “Bust It Baby.”

Yes, it’s new release Tuesday and we have a few hip-hop albums coming out, to include N.E.R.D and Tyga, but I think what people will be really gunning for will be that “Carter.”

What I found so amusing is that Plies decided to have his album come out on the same day as Weezy. Oh word, Plies? If I was that cat, I would’ve tucked my dick and my sack between my legs and pushed my album back. I don’t have to worry about that because I don’t have a twig and berries so there goes that….but I’m just saying, I mean if I did…Oh fuck it! No homo damn it!

Let’s be real here. Plies is a lackluster rapper. I think even HE knows it because he pretends to be a goon, when he’s really not. That guy is 100% market driven coonery and diddy-bop pop all in one. Apparently that’s a winning formula for black women who are candidates for free paternity tests on Maury Povich, and white kids who want to piss their moms and pops the fuck off.

Lil’ Wayne is NO Biggie, NO Tupac, NO NAS and no Jay-Z, but the guy is good and at the very least he has potential to get better. Plies has no COMEBACK! I can’t deny Wayne’s creativity or his swagger because he’s better than 98% of what comes out of the south. The other two percent of the pie belongs to Outkast and UGK (RIP Pimp C).

We know that Plies’ product will rely heavily on the same old shit. The same songs geared to women who need a man and a pot to piss in, and his bragging about what a coon goon he is. At least Weezy will have TRIED a little harder. He better have. According to a recent press release, he’s a “scholar” at the University of Houston, where he is studying Psychology.

I MIGHT get that Plies though, ONLY to check it out and see how bad it sucks. Then I’ll give it to some kid at the bus stop when I’m done. I have a morbid curiosity for his album the same way one would be curious to see the scene of a car crash or a train wreck.

I’m only human…

Plies is also working on a reality show titled Bust It Baby which will be in the same vein of VH1’s Flavor Of Love where females will compete for the rapper’s heart.

Plies revealed he is currently in negotiations with VH1 and Oprah Winfrey’s Oxygen Network to distribute the show. He also wants to turn the ‘Bust It Baby’ movement into a clothing line and a calendar.

Source

*record scratch sound*

Hol’ up! Hol’ up! You mean to tell me that Oxygen is actually interested in buying this show that will set black folks back so far, that we’ll find ourselves teleported into cotton fields circa 1855???

Et tu Oprah!!! I know you’re a stakeholder, but you better flex that muscle. Luda and Fifty can’t get any love but this crab ass rapper can? Oh, you wrong.

I won’t lie. I am supremely excited about this show. I cannot wait until someone picks up this gold nugget of coonery and I just KNOW that Vh1 is going to win it. They are fine purveyors of black fuckery and humiliation. They do it so well.

If we thought that the Flavor of Love broads were a mess, these “Bust It” bitches will–in the words of Danny Bonaduce–shake the rafters! Shake the foundations…

So over at Crunk and Disorderly, I saw that Plies is planning to launch his own clothing line. Here’s what Fresh had to say:

Woohah.com reports that Plies will release a clothing line for women called ‘Bust It Baby’ this Fall [You know, like the song. Boy, you be cross-promoting!] that will include short shorts [I can’t] and spandex. Expect to see plenty of classy broads standing in the line at the club showing off the bottom of their ashy ass cheeks in the skin tight garments.

LOVELY and DELIGHTFUL!!! I can’t even FRONT, the guy is going to sell OUT of those damned outfits. Have you seen his Myspace page!?!??! I have never seen so many damned GROWN women line up to be a, what’s it called, bust-a-nut, errr…bust it baby. It’s going to be a long, HOT crotchless summer. I can just see the tagline now:

“Bust It Baby Clothing by Plies, fine purveyor of shitty ass music, used condoms and ‘yak. Brought to you by your local welfare office, King’s Liquor store on MLK Way and Ray-Ray’s Weave ‘n’ go!”

According to XXL presidential hopeful Barack Obama will be a guest on rapper Q-Tip’s next album. He’s supposed to be guest starring. Well, there goes the election! It was a nice ride while it lasted!

According to the New York Post’s Page Six, Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama will appear prominently on Q-Tip’s upcoming solo album, The Renaissance.

The rapper, formerly of the group “A Tribe Called Quest,” will debut a solo album this June that’s heavy on guest stars, including presidential hopeful Barack Obama, who speaks throughout one song. “I’ve got Norah Jones on there, but Barack is the big one. You’ll see what happens, I can’t reveal too much,” Q-Tip told Page Six Thursday at the Details magazine party at Le Royale for his album, “The Renaissance,” and a photo shoot he did for the March issue.

Filmmaker Spike Lee also reportedly makes an appearance.

Just as long as he doesn’t show up in the next Plies video “poppin’ bottles” all over video hoes…

Earlier in the week I posted about Plies’ “Bust It Baby” casting/auditions for his planned reality show. You all saw the pictures.

Now I know they say a picture is worth a thousand words, the YouTube video is priceless.

I have never seen so much pure, unadulterated f*ckery in my life. This is UNFILTERED. If f*ckery had percentages like alcohol, this would be everclear or moonshine.

(Pic spotted at ZillaSays)

So I was over at AllHipHop.com’s Rumors Section and don’t you know my jaw damn near dropped when I saw this:

PLIES AND THE BIG BUTT REALITY SHOWPlies is doing a reality show and apparently the main deal is you have to have a big rump roast in the back. I was checking out Ozone and the main thing that I saw was that all the girls were showing their backside. So, the “Bust It Baby” Reality Show held auditions over a week ago and I guess it will be on VH1 or something.

REALLY Plies???? Really Black PEOPLE? It’s like this?!?!?!? AND we have 8 days left in Black History Month no less…

And why the HELL would you want to be a “Bust It Baby?” Call me a “Bougie Baby” because I’m too nice for all that “Bust It” sh*t. *SMDH at these broads* They thought they were “Bust It Babies” but they’re just busted as hell…

Here are some more pics of this f-ckery:

Wow! I think this is Plies’ fifth video and his album hasn’t gone platinum yet. It’s clear that his label wasn’t even trying to put forth effort into this video. It’s cheap, they couldn’t even get good video broads, and the director damned sure wasn’t interested in making him look good.

How tall is Plies anyway? 3′5″ tall or something???

Plies defends his right to use the word “cracka” 17 times in this little video he posted on YouTube. Well okay then……

He says it shouldn’t be a big deal because he used the word “nigga” twice as much during the song. Isn’t that just warming to the heart??

If this is what the South is offering us via rap, I give this sh*t maybe one more year before it’s a wrap and it’s shut down. He’s talking about racism against blacks but then uses a slur for another race 17 times???? Negroe please. Crack open a book stat……

Plies is a little dude huh? With T.I. being in prison, I will need a new “shorty” on which to rest my gi-huge-ous tittos! These bitches are heavy and my back hurts……..

And the “goon” chain is a huge “WTF” for me……

T-Pain. There are no words. I’m just going to move on before I miscarry……..
Plies! *sigh* Plies does two things to me. One of which is making me feel like somehow watching him on t.v. that I’m being groped by a greasy hand old man. He seems like he should be in the black version of the movie “Deliverance”. I bet he’d tell me to squeal like a pig too *lol*. This is how it would play out.

Seattle Slim: Excuse me sir? I’m on this road trip through Florida and I got lost in the backwoods here. Could you tell me how to get back on the interstate???
Plies: Well looka here….looka here. OOOOOOOh-WEEEEE!! You shole is purdiful. Yes you is. You got some nice lips too….*evil laugh* yes you does. Come on in here and I’ll make you squeal like a pig give you directions. You like ‘coon and sweet potatas???

But then again he’s so raw looking, I think I wouldn’t mind making him squeal like a pig. HEY! HEY! HEY!!!! How you doin’ Plies?? I’d smash and then get the hell on!