Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

I don’t really but whatever……
Who the hell would want to marry this man when he didn’t do Mel B’s trifling butt right? Huge downgrade from her ex-husband Babyface………

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been bought my wreath, black dress and black scarf to wear to the funeral for Soulja Boy’s career. Even though it’s obvious to anyone with half a brain this kid’s career is dying a slow death, he doesn’t seem to realize that it’s a wrap.

Here he is trying to come up with a new dance called the “Swag.” Peep for yourself, but here’s my synopsis:

1) This dance is more suitable at a gay bar or a gay pride parade because no heterosexual man can do this dance without looking like he takes nuts to his tonsils.

3) The dance reminds me of some chic’s makeup routine.

And last but not least……..

4) WHITE FOLK WON’T BE ABLE TO EXECUTE THIS DANCE!!! At least not in Seattle anyway…..*side eyes*

Well she may just be dumb as a fox this broad. Several songs have leaked and most recently “Gimme More” and “Cold As Fire” have been leaked in the last few days. “Cold…” sucks but “Gimme More” is not that bad. The productions is tight. It’s by “Danjahandz” a protege of Timbaland. So the song is hot for that very reason. He definitely went coconuts on the beat and it’s very reminiscent of something Madonna may have done for her 2005 album (CLASSIC) “Confessions On A Dancefloor.”

As for her singing, it’s the same as it has always been: heavily doctored but a little smokier (cigarettes?). I’m not posting it here but if you want to listen to it go to her STAN site. OMG! Those kids would feed their newborn children to Satan on a plate with some hot sauce on the side for this woman. That’s sad.

I’d like to see if she gets her sh*t together. Something has to give for real. I’m not dying for her because sh*t just don’t make sense with her. I’m soooooo not enthused.

Click here for BreatheHeavy.com and to listen to her new songs.

I know this is old but why wasn’t I in the loop? Did I lose my black people card?

Okay okay…..I get it. The dude is aiming high. I can dig that. This is Cam’ron (Giles) premier issue of Platinum Entrepreneur and while it looks like a cheap Forbes or Playgirl Cigar Aficionado cover wise, I actually got a chance to check out the inside of the mag and see what it’s about. Cam is the head honcho but he partnered with Julia Beverly, who already runs her own magazine by the name of Ozone (you know the people that put on the Black Folk Still Ghetto Awards Ozone Awards). It’s alright I guess. I mean it’s no XXL or The Sauce err…I mean The Source but it’s probably better than Vibe and Jet magazine.

But can someone explain WHY Jeff Grunblatt is posing like an ASS with Cam’ron in the second cover? NOT a good look son. PLEASE get right!

To get inside, click here!

Fuggie Fug Fergie and Beyonce both received Latin Grammy nods for their contributions with Latin stars. Fergie was featured on Daddy Yankee’s (WHO SUCKS!!!) “Impacto” and Beyonce did “Beautiful Liar (Bello Embustero)” with Shakira. That’s just great. What I want to know is did Alejandro Sanz get any nominations?

Congrats to Calle 13 and Juan Luis Guerra (I LOVE his music! Burbujas De Amor is STILL my sh*t).

Source

Words? I have none. Speech? Gone straight to hell. I. Am. Dumbstruck. Jesus be a Remington electric shaver.

Looking at my dude stand there in his pumps without teetering or looking like a bowlegged prostitute, the way I do when I wear pumps, and the hair is SO on point…I feel like a man.

I’m feeling on myself right now because I swear to gosh he SHAMED me into believing my game was SO WEAK….I grew a d*ck and two balls…..

*SMDH*

I fully appreciate that Jaime is trying to get right after having a baby. I know I will. While she looks good, she went overboard with the dress. This is a firey explosion of mess if I ever did see one. Take it back to the lab Jamie. It will be okay. You’re still cute and all. Just play your position…..

After I had my son I refused to believe that I had a gut. I am ashamed that my ass was caught walking around with my gut navigating for me. I was on some true muffin top sh*t. This isn’t happening again. It will be Michael Vick Seattle Seahawk jerseys until I get right.

Pic Source

My eyes are not deceived. I remember watching an episode of Kathy Griffin’s show “My Life On The D-List” on Bravo and she bawled when Jay Leno made fun of her face after plastic surgery. She was so pissed at him. Well here we are a few years later, and we all know she is NO spring chicken, and they have her on the cover looking 10 years younger? Nice of them to airbrush her. Just think of it. How many guys are going to beat off to this cover, thinking this broad is fire, then see her on some red carpet or on her show and feel used???? Hell I’d vomit. I’d go wash myself like in the “Crying Game.”

That’s why ladies, don’t believe the hype. Most of these broads look like a postuled, hairy ass in real life. God bless photoshop!

Kim Kardashian enjoyed her unemployment hosted a party at Mansion in Miami and all the donkeys were there, INCLUDING, Chudney Ross.

Ladies and gentlemen, I must ask why? Why does Chudney do this? Chudney is not an ugly girl, she just takes VERY BAD PICTURES. They are horrible. But she insists on letting them out. *SMDH* You know Kim dragged her into the pics to guarantee her pictures would come out hot.

Why did I wake up from a dream, EXTRA terrified, in which I met Posh Spice and David Beckham at some picnic on the grounds of some nice estate? I’m talking to him and he’s like smiling at me because I’m a bumbling fool in the dream. I would talk with food or broccoli in my mouth and drool would like fall from my mouth and pieces of food too. Posh was pissed because I was trying to steal dude from her and Mel B. was a b*tch to me. I was trying to tell him this story about how I fell in love with when I saw him at the 1998 World Cup. He was flattered and that was about it. *SMDH* Even in Dreams, VICTORIA!!!!! Here are a few pics of him in W Magazine (spotted at DListed:

OOPS!!! How did THIS one get in there???? *fakes shock*