Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

*In best Cartman voice: “CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!”*

Kidding……….
Anyway Ne-Yo has sued R. Kelly’s Double Up tour promoter for firing him after just two shows where he was the opening act. This is serious, they’re going to make you delirious….

R&B singer Ne-Yo sued the promoter of the R. Kelly Double Up tour for firing him after two shows as the opening act, claiming that the audience and the critics liked him better, according to court papers obtained on Wednesday.

Ne-Yo, whose real name is Shaffer Smith, and Compound Touring Inc. filed the suit Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court against Georgia-based Rowe Entertainment Inc., alleging breach of contract and violation of the right of publicity.

Compound Touring and Smith are seeking unspecified damages, but the suit maintains he was to be paid $785,000 for 25 shows opening for Kelly’s “Double-Up Tour” that began Nov. 14 and is still owed $735,000.

I hope Ne-Yo gets him JUST for contributing such f*ckery as “I’m a Flirt” and “Same Girl.” Hell if I was the judge, I’d sentence him to death by firing squad.

(Spotted at Singersroom.com)

Ciara sure loves the kids!!! She has been helping disadvantaged young people from London through her work as an ambassador for the Prince’s Trust.

Click HERE to see video and to hear her talk about the program in her own words!

Thanks Jennie!!

I like Dita. I think she has her swagger on point, but would it hurt to tan a little? Minor though, just minor! Anyway the lovely Eve, whose hair and outfit were huge winners for me, and Dita Von Teese promoted their M.A.C cosmetics campaign today! LOVELY! Work it bitch!

Now they got me REAL hype! “American Gladiators” was my show growing up. I was a stan for *digs deep in gallery of mediocrity part of brain* Storm? Oh well they are probably in a group home by now. But I sure am glad to see it back on. Laila Ali is lovely and I’m still a bonafide Hulkamaniac but not when it comes to him and Linda’s parenting skills. *side eyes Nick and Brooke*

Laila Ali, third-place finisher in ABC’s Dancing with the Stars last season and current undefeated World Super Middleweight Boxing Champion, is entering a different kind of ring next year. Ali, 29, will join Hulk Hogan as co-host of NBC’s American Gladiators, PEOPLE has confirmed.

“It’s an honor to be reintroducing this American classic to a new generation of fans,” Ali said. Although she competed on DWTS, this will be the first time Ali has ever co-hosted a TV series.

YES! That’s what’s up!

I interrupt your regularly scheduled SNARK and SMUT to just let it be known that homegirl in the middle’s dress game is SICK!!

That silver joint is right up my alley. Give me some Swarovski crystal-tinged stilettos and you will witness hoe decimation aka killin’ hoes!! Bally’s better get me bodied in time for memorial day 2008 so I can cop this. Actually, with MY luck Jon-Jon will knock me up AGAIN on Memorial Day just like he did this year *sends cyber stink-eye* .

Now back to your regularly scheduled bullsh*t gossip!

Well slap my butt and “please say the baby!” Venus Williams looked….what is the word I am looking for? Nice!!! She brought her “A game” to her Venus Williams Presents UNESCO-Sony Ericsson Gender Equality Campaign. Her cut and color are on point and she looks nice. I mean I did side eye one thing but she looks cute and relaxed! Keep it up!

I am not going to say she’s gotten herself together, but she’s definitely gotten her hair together. Now she looks like the dyke mom that she’s supposed to be. Now if she could just act like it……..

If you haven’t gotten a chance to see Fantasia Barrino in the hit Broadway show “The Color Purple,” you’ll get a few more chances.

Fantasia, who was originally supposed to leave the cast in October, has extended her stint in the show until January 2008.

The former ”American Idol” alum has extended her stay in ”The Color Purple,” the hit musical based on Alice Walker’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, the show’s producers announced Thursday.

Fantasia, who won raves from the critics for her performance as Celie, will appear in the musical through Jan. 6, 2008. She was originally scheduled to leave in October.

”The Color Purple,” now in its second year at the Broadway Theatre, received a boost at the box office after Fantasia joined the production last April.

Good for her! I bet somewhere in Fat Bastard Land, Perez Hilton is overdosing on bacon grease to take away the pain. You know how he HATES Fantasia……
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