Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

I could’ve done a better job directing this thing actually, it left that much to be desired. The song is catchy sure (I bet I’ll be working out to that bitch in a few weeks), but the video could’ve done more to salvage her career and give the song longevity.

The video is a little better than her performance at the VMAs but not by much. If they would’ve recruited me to help her on the pole with the choreography, she would’ve been rivaling any dancer at Body Tap or Magic City. Call me Britney! Next video I’ll get you in shape!

The Sun reportedly has some background as to why the hell Britney Spears botched her “comeback” performance at the VMAs this past Sunday.

Basically she was high and tripping……

The troubled star, 25, lost the plot when she saw her hairdo for the show — and had to be given anti-depressants by her doctor.

Critics then branded her performance of new single Gimme More “bored” and “glazed” as she forgot dance moves and lip-synched out of time.

An MTV source told The Sun: “The scene in the dressing room before the show was one of absolute blind panic.

“She knew she hadn’t rehearsed enough and was going to mess up the whole show and possibly her career — then she saw her hairdo and it was the final straw.

“She went into a wild rage and started lashing out at everyone — including her stylist.”

Desperate lackeys at the glitzy Las Vegas Palms Casino resort fetched her doctor, who gave Brit the prescription drugs.

The source said: “Britney took enough to floor an elephant. They calmed her down — but were clearly too effective.”

Well from the bits and pieces that have come in the broad was basically drunk, high, didn’t rehearse, was a b-tch to work for and was a self-hating trainwreck. YUM! A recipe for destruction………

And then obviously with Kanye West not winning the award, we know Bush doesn’t like black people, apparently MTV doesn’t either. I was walking through the press line you know and he came storming through like Norman, like hey you know, like it was D-Day or something. I’m like clam down man, it’s just a kind of corny award show.

PREACH!!!!

Spotted at Perez Hilton

This is something else. This cat didn’t make a 9/11 truth video or a video talking about “controlled demolition.” Nope! This cat made a video trying to prove that Britney’s heel broke.

See this is JUST what Homeland Security needs! If they hired these Brit-Maniacs to study their surveillance tapes we would be super safe! Terror alerts be damned! I bet this person didn’t even bother to eat, sleep or sh-t until this was done. It’s the SECOND version too. I must, however, break that damned bubble. Look closely and you’ll see the heel isn’t broken. The skank is just drunk and her weight is not balancing or distributing well on the boot.

HOW do I know? Because a few times last summer and into this Spring my ass was at the club in my stilettos, drunk as HELL and dancing bowlegged. Damn near fell and popped my teefuses on the floor a few times! Ah good times!

ROFLMAO @ him just LOSING it!!! His voice cracked up like a snot nosed 13 year old boy’s on SEVERAL occasions!! But did he really lose to WHACK ASS Black Eyed Peas last year??? HELL NAW!!! I’m riding with him on that one. We all know those n*ggas they won because Fergie was in that b*tch. Remember when Black Eyed Peas didn’t have Fergie? NADA!

Spotted at Bossip

Okay so word on the “street” is that Sarah Silverman was the reason why Britney wasn’t into her performance last night at the VMAs. Could Sarah Silverman’s tasteless ass jokes about her kids have been the reason? Apparently there may have been several reasons, so check it:

- MTV changed Britney’s routine at the last minute from the planned Cris Angel stunts to the routine she performed for fear of slipping up.
- Apparently Britney heard that Sarah Silverman was going to be taking jabs at her kids and almost walked away from even performing. MTV assured her that Silverman would not take jabs at her kids, so she continued on. Apparently she heard that Sarah went for her kids and was in hysterics backstage.

Silverman said that Britney’s kids were as cute as the “hairless vagina” they came out of. I would’ve shanked her personally, but then again Britney hasn’t done much to protect herself or her kids from being tabloid fodder.

Sarah Silverman is NOT funny and I think she needs to stay her ass under Jimmy Kimmel’s balls and leave the comedy to FUNNY people.

I am not a Chris Brown fan but he killed it last night at the VMAs. The boy danced his heart out and delivered. One of the FEW good performances of the night.

Alicia Keys ripped it too!

Her performance had me clapping at home like a nerd! Can I just say that her body was on point and that her whole outfit was the truth??? To see Alicia perform, click here!

Where are my manners? I totally forgot Beyonce. She was very ambitious in her dress this year and I am surprised her nips didn’t come out to see what was going on because it was that close.

Did anyone else notice how when she went to grab her award she kissed Kanye on the cheek, but when she went to kiss Fifty he moved back? She looked EXTRA embarassed! Hooray for awkward moments!

The VMAs tried to bring the heat this year and they for sure brought the drama. In a BIZARRE turn of events, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock acted a fool by getting into a brawl right there on the audience floor. Nobody is really sure WHY the two white trash extraordinaires (I like Tommy but damn…) were fighting but of course speculation is Old Lady Anderson Pam Anderson was the reason. Tommy Lee was kicked out after the fight, fueling rumors that he was the one to start it. That sucks for him because word is he was backslapped and punched the hell out by Kid Rock.

I guess this year’s VMAs was white folks’ Source Awards. To see the video of the fight, click here.

Kanye “Queen Bitch” West also had his diva moment.

Kanye was LIVID that he didn’t win for any of the five categories he was nominated for so he went the hell off the deep end. The bitch fit went like this according to the AP:

“That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance,” West said, stomping around his entourage and directing his comments at a reporter. “I’m trying hard man, I have the … number one record, man.”

Kanye says he will never return to MTV……

And somewhere MTV execs from here to Japan are weeping with joy. I would’ve given him an award; actually two: One for “Best Delusional N*gga” and “Best Impression Of A Pissy Drag Queen/Temperamental, Conceited Brat Of The Year.” See I’m generous!

Oh and Jamie Foxx irritated the hell out of Jennifer Garner on stage while they were presenting for best group. It was CLEAR Jamie was drunk as all hell. I’m sure Jennifer Garner LOVED getting spittle on her face when he slurred in her face. She was gracious and wiped it off but I would’ve kicked him in his balls.

This picture kills me! I REALLY wish they BOTH would stop with the homo-erotic bullshit right about now. I’m really starting to wonder if these two are really lovers having a little lover’s quarrel. I just LOVE how Kanye has to stand on his tip-toes to face off 50 Cent.

Somewhere Kenny Chesney is laughing wickedly at how he’s going to blast these fools with his cd sales on September 11th.