Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

There were plenty of funny clips and videos on YouTube this year, but none of them are as disturbing, freaky or just flat out questionable as this video and the people behind it.

They came [most likely on the couch], they saw, and they conquered all things questionably homoerotic. They made the sensual seduction of furniture seem even more vile than anyone could begin to imagine. They made us feel so sorry for that poor ottoman, that we wanted to start a “Stop The Sexual Abuse Of Ottomans, Couches and Floors” group. Well I did anyway. They also made us question what our boyfriends could really be doing when they claim they are getting together to play “Halo.” Hell it even made some of us send evil side eye glances to the couch I’m sure. Without further ado…..the winners of 2007’s Most Disturbed/Freakiest YouTube Clip are Peer Pressure aka those dancing closet homo dudes that dry hump couches and shit

I quit this bitch.

This shit right here is every bit as bad as one would expect from the descriptions. Penelope Cruz and her sister (really do we need to know her name?) have cameos in their brother’s video “Cosas Que Contrar” and boy what love do they have for each other.

What’s wrong with it? Where to begin? The fact that the sisters are looking to seduce their brother? They strip to their underwear? Kiss on each other? I’m okay if he picked two birds who’d do anything for a crumb but these are his sisters. I don’t EVEN want to know what bath time must have been like in that house when they were kids.

(Photo ganked from Bossip)

I saw this photo on Bossip and I literally felt like I had stumbled unto a bestiality smut site. I am SERIOUSLY disgusted at having seen both of their f*ck faces. I normally admire them because if you are in a relationship and are still hot for each other, but seeing Ice-T’s f*ck face made my vajayjay want to take a walk around the building…………*gags*

Taken from his Myspace blog:

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

**** Females Please Read!! ***** but LADIES NO need.
Current mood: peaceful

Females, DO NOT EVER SEND ME ANY NUDE PICTURES!!

I will delete you hoe-ish ass and block you from contacting me FOREVER!!

My mom didn’t raise no dog! I don’t even know WHAT about my character that you’ve seen thus far would make any female even THINK that I’m that type of guy. DISGUSTINGLY OFFENSIVE!! and my patience for it is up!!!

If you are a hoe at least PRETEND to be a respectable woman when dealing with me or don’t deal with me at all.

p.s. All of my LADIES please don’t take offense as I’m only talking to the HOES out there, REAL TALK!.

Well fine then!!! I’ll just take my pictures and send them to “Pretty!” I know he’ll appreciate them!

HONESTLY??????? Is this REALLY even humanly possible? Now I am not one for the skinny, assless types that roam Hollywood but this right here is grotesque. I am not hating because I love to see thick chicks. That’s what’s up! BUT THIS is a no go.

It looks like she is pregnant with twins and she is carrying one in each ass cheek. I propose that if there is a nuclear holocaust and we have to eat each other, that she goes first. She’s got enough to feed an entire generation in her ass……

Spotted at Bossip

Oh RLY?

Brandy’s untalented little brother, and amateur D-list porn star, Ray-J is hanging on to those last 30 seconds of fame the best way he knows how.

According to Janet Charlton and Ballerstatus.com, Ray-J has released an underground rap album/mixtape rife with filth and mysogyny.

Via a new mixtape, titled Ray J Unkut, created with DJ Kay Slay, he talks about Kim and their relationship, among other things. It features tracks such as “No Porno Sh–,” “Spendin’ All My Bitches’ Cash” and “Kim K Message (Parts 1 & 2),” a remix of Kim’s private voicemails to Ray J recorded shortly after news of the sex tape broke.

“What I want to do is make sure people are entertained with great stories, and that’s what I deliver on this CD,” he said. “I’m puttin’ it all out on the table. I talk about my boys f—in’ their homegirls and Paris [Hilton] don’t like it… I’m incorporating my life into my music, which is the only honest way to be.”

He even alleges and I am sure it is 100% true that Paris Hilton gave him herpes. WTF? And this cat has a six film deal with porno giant Vivid Entertainment???? He better be wearing a full body condom for his scenes.

Jay-Z hosted a party at the Velvet Room in ATL on November 4th and guests included Rick Ross and Freeway. I think they should stick together more often. I’m seriously thinking that they should form a group and they can call themselves “The Pubes.”

Ozone Magazine caught the Superfriends and Entertainment 4 Life Presents South Carolina State University’s Homecoming Party. I had questions and concerns about most of the photos, but this one put the icing on the damned cake. Exactly WHO is supposed to eat this slop? WHAT is this slop exactly? Where was the health inspector? If anyone got an STD at the party, I’d question if they got it from another person or from the damned food……..

Damn Tony! Is it that damned bad?

I mean I know he was smashing Carrie Underwood for a minute, so why would he downgrade? I guess his dating game is more flip-flop than his QB game. Yeah I said it!!

Apparently Ryan Seacrest saw Romo and Spears get down with the get down at the club. Ewww! I just threw up in my mouth.

Ryan Seacrest – who was at Hollywood club Les Deux October 26 when Britney Spears mingled with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo — said he saw the singer give him a lap dance.

“I spoke to her for a minute. She seemed to be in a very, very good mood,” he said on his KIIS-FM radio show this morning. “She had her sunglasses on. I said, ‘Busy day, huh?’ She kind of smiled and laughed and said, ‘Yeah.’ And then I believe I saw her and Tony Romo frolicking.”

“Lap dancing?” a co-host asked.

“I mean some would say,” Seacrest said.

“She’s on his lap,” the co-host continued.

“Yeah,” Seacrest replied.

NASTY!!! All I know is if he didn’t wash those pants as SOON as he got home, I’m sure the next morning he was greeted by some foul-smelling alien life form raiding his fridge for booze and/or cheetos.

Source

One question: Why?????
This preying mantis model was featured at the Spring 2008 fashion show for Grey Ant and I’ve got to wonder, what were they thinking when they made her walk out like this?????

I HOPE that she’s still a virgin, because I don’t know very many men that would want her razor sharp pelvis I call them hip blades to be anywhere around their “twig and berries.” She needs somebody’s “mama’s biscuits.” Screw that, she needs 100% pure lard smoothies twice a day.