Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Is the lying even NECESSARY Jordin? I mean it’s not like her singing is all that to begin with. We wouldn’t be shocked if she had a vocal coach or some help. See I knew Blake should’ve won. This chic is already putting us on front street. The 17 year old cash cow American Idol winner was asked if she ever had vocal training, which she denied. Well now her vocal coach, Melissa Black who was hired by Jordin’s grandmother and mother at $25/hour has popped up; admitting that Jordin was a pupil when she was 14 years old.
Not even at the top yet and she forgot where she came from? She needs to concentrate on putting out hits and doing what her handlers tell her to do, or she’ll join Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard in the pit of mediocrity.
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Yeah I know I wasn’t right for using that picture but it works. Hey why am I explaining myself? It’s my blog! *lol* Okay enough buggin out. I won’t front like I watched American Idol last night because I didn’t. Ever since they voted off my panty soaker Chris Richardson, my heart stopped being in it. But I didn’t need to watch it to make what I think is an accurate prediction. Let’s be real cats. Melinda is cute, she’s solid, she’s whatever right? She’s a great singer. No doubt about that. But LIKE I predicted LAST WEEK to my friends that Lakisha would get the boot, so will Melinda. Why? In American Idol, being a good singer doesn’t always equal winning. Being an okay singer, with a cute face, body that can be reworked (I’m talking to you Kelly and Carrie), and an image that can go in some profitable direction (African-Americans, young white girls, hot blooded guys). Melinda can’t really go in any direction the way Jordan and Blake can. Sure Melinda could get into the African-American market easily, but when competing with Rihanna, Beyonce, Fantasia even, she’ll be hard-pressed to even corner that market.

Blake is a bit of a Timberlake biter…but “blue-eyed soul” (Robin Thicke, Justin) as they call it is hot right now and it’s cross-cultural. He stands to make alot of money if we just remove some of his “cheesey” factor. And he’s sexy too. He could sell albums on sheer sex appeal and that’s what it comes down to.

Jordin is a little more difficult to market than Blake. To be honest, NOT that I agree because she looks great, but I do call it as I see it. She’ll have to lose weight and sex it up a little (Katherine McPhee ahem cough choke) otherwise they’ll stick her into a demographic of Tween girls who like “I Love Raven”, “Kim Possible” and whatever is on Noggin.

I’ll watch tonight to see if I’m right. But would you if you knew that to the producers “if it ain’t about money, it doesn’t make sense?”

Photos by American Idol