Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

(Photo ganked from Bossip)

I saw this photo on Bossip and I literally felt like I had stumbled unto a bestiality smut site. I am SERIOUSLY disgusted at having seen both of their f*ck faces. I normally admire them because if you are in a relationship and are still hot for each other, but seeing Ice-T’s f*ck face made my vajayjay want to take a walk around the building…………*gags*

I wonder how many jack rabbits were killed to make the fur on her jacket?

I kid! Ice-T and Coco showed up to Adonis’ birthday party the other night. I stay laughing at their poses for the camera. These two are camera whores. I’m wondering when their reality show is going to hit. They need one. *Side eyes Coco’s spandex*

I really need to take my ass to bed so I’m doing a best of the worst. Why? Because it’s easy to find the weak ones in the bunch then feast on them. Kind of like baby zebras and lions! Here we go:

Ciara needs to know that we GET that she’s skinny, but feminine she is not. My brother could wear this dress better than her, and he’s built like a linebacker. Oddly enough with his pecs he has bigger tits than her. LOW BLOW!!! Her husky shoulders make me think young, transsexual male. Perhaps EATING would bring some MUCH needed female curves????

Coco is it too much to ask that you put on a dress with no animal prints? Is it really?

Okay damn it. Who the HELL are you pointing at, Ne-Yo? Me? Why me? WTF did I do to you? Pointing past me? Is there some axe murderer about to sashimi my ass? I NEED ANSWERS!!! Get his Black Koi Fish ass on ANTM so Tyra and Miss Jay can teach him how to pose and give different looks. I suggest the “I’m really not gay, I promise” look.

I get it! Your old but you worked the hell out of your body. Now get a shirt on. Everytime I see this cat, he is shirtless. Why???

Ahhh T-Pain. I thought that in the presence of some true hip hop greats that he would have a reaction similiar to Damien in “The Omen” as he neared the church. Alas, he was unaffected. I see his lips were also on “extra chapped” mode. That’s sexy. Really it is. I bet his breath smells like poontang and cheese sandwiches.

D-listStars were out in full effect for the Entertainment Weekly event in New York City. Now who’s up for criticism viewing?



Rihanna came out to the party because she’s featured in the latest issue of the magazine..whoring it up. She does look very nice on the red carpet however. Flawless! I noticed she’s airing out her crotch again during her concerts. Yay!

Fellow Klingon princess Caribbean girl Selita Ebanks also made an appearance. She hit the spot with her outfit, hair and makeup but I am still wondering about the choice of shoes. Black seems a little off. Hmmm….

Kat DeLuna showed up looking nice. She reminds me of post-surgery Lil’ Kim though. She’s got a hot new single out. I’m going to post the video up here shortly! I haven’t heard it yet but a few other bloggers seem to like it.

Ice-T and Coco showed up. I just know that if a picture is worth a thousand words, then all of mine as they pertain to this couple are the same: FREAKY. I mean I am sure they keep it popping in the boudoir but come on now! Is it so hard for Coco to invest in a bra? I love Coco but my weary eyes were not in the mood for seeing anybody else’s nipples but mine tonight. It is too late….

*sigh* Jesus lover of my bra wearing soul……

Coco and Ice-T were unceremoniously asked to give up a table while enjoying and dinig at Ono in the Gansevoort Hotel for Maxim’s Hot 100 party. And of course! I mean nobody and I mean NOBODY makes Hillary and Haylie Duff wait for a table! Act like you know! I mean Haylie’s performance in Napoleon Dynamite WAS CLASSIC Hollywood greatness. And Hillary….her music is THE TRUTH! Her voice easily rivals Christina or dare I say….Billie Holliday? *SMDH*

A VERY brave maitre d’ bounced Ice T and Coco from a bottle-service table at Maxim’s Hot 100 party at Ono in the Gansevoort Hotel to make room for Hilary and Hayley Duff Wednesday night. “Coco was p - - - ed,” our sources report.

I would be too if I had to get up for these two horse looking chics. Coco you’re still beautiful. Love you girl!
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