Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

And by hot and bothered, I mean puking all over yourself and recoiling in disgust. Hurricane Chris performed at Quincy Brown’s “stunna 16″ birthday party in Atlanta. Quincy Brown is Kim Porter’s spawn with Al B. Sure.

Very rarely do I see a photo or something that will make me just be ill, but this right here made me want to hurl. I mean I swear I can smell him through the computer. It smells like stale Black & Milds and week old pig’s feet. A big f*ck you to the photographer who did this!

Is Hip-Hop going the way of hair metal? Or maybe the love affair with all things repetitious and the the Dirty South is over? It would seem as though we are witnessing the death of an era when we look at hip-hop/rap album sales.

Ludacris’ Disturbing Tha Peace clique can’t be too pleased with these numbers. Peep what XXL had to say:

Disturbing Tha Peace family members Playaz Circle have scored the highest debut for a hip-hop act on the Billboard 200 chart this week, with their debut album Supply & Demand. Powered by their Lil Wayne assisted smash single “Duffle Bag Boy,” Tity Boy and Dolla Boy moved 26,238 copies of their first major label project and will land at No. 27 on the charts. Houston’s Baby Bash follows closely behind the Atlanta duo with his newest LP, Cyclone. With some assistance from T-Pain on the Lil Jon produced title track, Bash managed to sell 25,873 copies, which will place him at No. 30 on the Top 200. Next up we have Memphis veteran Project Pat, who hit stores with his latest, Walkin’ Bank Roll, last Tuesday. Despite the presence of Hypnotize Minds crewmembers Three 6 Mafia on his single, “Don’t Call Me No Mo,” Pat will land at No. 47 with just under 17,500 units scanned.

Well damn! When two GROWN men see fit to name themselves “Tity Boy” and “Dolla Boy” it’s kind of easy to see why they can’t sell sh*t. Somewher Hurricane Chris is slowly fading into mediocrity……

Riding high at the Ozone Awards eh Chris? Top nominee for the “Won’t Be Around Next Year” award, Hurricane Chris, might as well get ready to apply at Wal-Mart or maybe “UPS is hiring?” His debut album came in at a pathetic #24 on the charts.

Hurricane Chris stands as this week’s top hip-hop debut on the Billboard 200 album chart with his album 51/50 Ratchet. The Shreveport, La. native, who has been burning up airwaves nationwide with his infectious single “Ay Bay Bay,” will land at No. 24 on the charts this week after moving just over 26,000 copies of his debut. Next up we have underground favorites Little Brother, who have just released their first project since splitting with producer 9th Wonder. Getback, the Raleigh, NC duo’s third studio LP, moved about 9,600 copies during its first week in stores and will land at No. 89 on the charts. Life Goes On, the latest from Houston vet Trae, also hit stores last week. Consumers picked up about 7,500 copies, which will place it at No. 104.

It really is only a matter of time before this mess starts to regulate itself again. You can’t fool all the people all the time. Unfortunately folks slept on Little Brother this time but I wonder if it has to do with the crappy distro and marketing from their label.

Source

Oh boy! There is much to cover thanks to the BET Hip Hop Awards. *SMDH* I am truly at a loss for words. Let me get the pictures out of the way and then on to the drama with black doodlebop Clifford “T.I.” Harris. Lots of pics so yeah, enjoy!

This picture here sums up the state of hip hop. *SMDH* It’s not that I couldn’t find anything wrong with this picture, it’s just how much time ya got? I notice that gregarious ass chain he used to wear is missing. Behind on some payments, Joc?

Trina looked awkward. This looks like a photo outside of homecoming. I kind of like the dress though.

That’s right! BET is for the CHILDREN!!! COONING is for the kids!!

This picture says “homo-erotica” plain and simple. This is wrong on so many levels.

Where is Mims’ neck????? He reminds me of this Barbie doll I used to have after I broke her neck. I just forced the head back on to the body. She was never the same.

Keyshia looks like a wasp that went through too much white pollen in this picture. What did you want me to say? This is the vibe I get!

If I were KRS-One I wouldn’t have shown up personally. He looks happy to be there…….

Lil’ Mama looks nice for a change.

Aw come on man! Are there really no shirts? Vanity is a bitch.

LOL at Polow Da Don looking like the dweeb that he is. But is it bad that I like those glasses?

Ciara hid her man-shoulders! Good look! Now you just need some tits and you’ll look like a full-grown woman! LOL I kid.

David Banner cleans up nice!

Still trying to stay relevant eh, Hurricane Chris? What was he nominated for? The “Won’t Be Around Next Year” award?

Jazze Pha must find it incredibly difficult to move his head considering he has no neck.

WHY??????????

Big Boi looks like a black punk rock hobbit.

Aww Bun B has a wife?? Very cute couple.

This picture scared me. Cassidy looks like a spitting cobra.

Chingy is actually bothering the photographer for some spare change to help pay off that suit he rented.

Boy I hate motherf*ckers who can’t dress for Awards shows. *LOL* You thought I would say it huh? Oh no, but it’s coming. I’ll just let Chris Rock say it.

Moving along! The Black Association For Low Expectations And Tacky Dressing aka rappers at the Ozone Awards were in full effect yesterday! Oh the couture was ON POINT!!! Let’s take a look at the men shall we?????

DJ Khaled was there in all his greasy glory. Yay!

Mr. “Squeal Like A Pig” Plies was there too. *sigh* I guess Plies realizes his career in rap will be short lived that’s why he obviously felt like he could just roll up to the awards in house clothes. He looks like somebody’s loser ass uncle named Lucky. Jesus be a suit and tie.

Black Frankenstein err…I mean Slim Thug was there. No word on whether or not he did the “monster mash.”

Hurricane Chris of “A Bay Bay” fame and Soulja Boy made an appearance. I really wish they hadn’t because I wasn’t prepared to witness THAT much ugly in one photo. Someone get the acid for my eyes…..

Rick Ross and Fat Joe aka “The Bacon Grease Brothers” were there representing those of us who sweat bacon fat instead of normal sweat. I bet their sweat glands are shaped like hamburgers. I’m damned sure positive they don’t wear Eau de Cologne but Eau De Fried Chicken. *SMDH* They smell like a damned kitchen.

And last but not least Yung Joc was there. Joc’s physique looks improved but I still wouldn’t smash. Actually there is one thing I find arousing on him and that’s his HUGE nose. I bet when he goes “downtown” he’s a champ cause he’s got TWO things going for him: his tongue at the bottom and his nose at the top. Call me Joc!!

That rounds out the men but the chics are EVEN worse!