I realize that Paris Hilton is going to be selling weave-100% Yak and yes, I mean Yak not Yaki–but I just want to know what is on her face?  They oiled her joint up good.  I just think of all the grease.  Jesus….

 And I just LOVE that picture on her weave package.  It just says: “I’m vapid as hell but y’all STILL are about to buy my rat fur weaves.”

And it’s a Clip ‘n’ go???  All I know is I better not catch any black women wearing this shit.  But I know someone will try it….

 ATTENTION WHITE WOMEN: Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT buy clip ‘n’ go weaves.  It’s tacky and it’s dumb.  Just pay the $60-$100+ bucks to get a sew-in or a bonded one but clipping is NOT the business…

Click here to find out! She’s a “monster” of a woman…… Read more on this Article!

Ahhhh yes! It’s Monday. But don’t despair! I thought I would cheer you up with these pictures from the club!! You can thank me later. Yeah I know you love me!

Aside from looking like a trout, she had the nerve to be out in the streets with two hamsters glued to the side of her face. Wait? Those aren’t hamsters. *gasp* Those are sideburns!!!

Perhaps she was auditioning for Chewbacca’s rap video, “Furballin’ These Hoes?” I’m reaching I know.

Oh it’s our friend again!!! I am sooooo mad at her little toe. That joint looks gangrenous.
And $50 (Monopoly) bucks to whoever can tell me what the HELL is going on in this picture. I see pants down, fake money on the floor, dead baby toes, and someone doing an impression of a position in the Kama Sutra….WTF?

I know we’ve all heard of deodorant for your underarms, but I think she needs full body deodorant with MAX STRENGTH ANTI-PERSPIRANT. Swamp ass is not cute. These girls look like a bottle of mustard, ketchup and a saltshaker. McDonald’s couture!


Look at Ashanti’s little sister! What is wrong with these celebrity little sisters? First Solange and now this one? It looks like the best part of their daddy’s sperm went into making their big sisters. They just got the guys who swam into the tip repeatedly before finally finding their way to the egg. *SMDH*

(Photo spotted at C&D )

Birdman and a large entourage, to include his 18 year old concubine wife, were arrested for having drugs and a small arsenal in their RV. Really? I think they should’ve been arrested for driving and crossing state lines while ugly………….

According to the Associated Press, the Cash Money Records founder and his entourage were pulled over in Kingsport, Tenn. after their RV made an improper lane change, forcing a tractor trailer into the emergency lane on Interstate 81.

Kingsport Police Cpl. Tim Horne said that after stopping the vehicle he could smell marijuana coming from inside the rented RV. He said that after obtaining consent to search the vehicle, he found about a pound of marijuana in a trash can in the RV’s kitchenette.

The group was traveling from New Orleans.

All 16 people were charged with possession of more than ½ ounce of marijuana, including Williams, 38, his wife Brittany, 18, his brother, Cash Money co-founder Ronald Williams, 43, and 13 others.

Among the Cash Money affiliates arrested were road manager Shahid Muhammad, 40, Cash Money Records promoter Casey Collins, 42, and music promoter Ovide Antoine, 32, of Miami, Fla.

Also found in the RV were an assault rifle, a handgun and a magazine for a .45-caliber handgun. Although no weapons charges have been filed, The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms is now involved in the investigation.

Birdman and his clique were still in jail as of late Tuesday night.

In a shower somewhere Lil’ Wayne is curled up in the fetal position crying for his Birdman.

Source

Donald Trump signed his new book “Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and Life” at Barnes & Nobles on Fifth Avenue yesterday. I see he is trying to help the “common folk” and all and that’s commendable.

I actually have a book for him: “How Not To Look Like You’re Wearing a Pubic Hair Toupe: Mastering Your Double Comb-Overs.” I think he needs this in his life…….

*If you look closely you’ll see how he does it. He combs over from left to right and then takes a section from the back and combs over to the front.*

Halle Berry showed up to the premiere of her new movie “Things We Lost in the Fire” looking fab except for one thing wasn’t quite right.

I don’t know if she fell down a flight of stairs or was going for the “I Just Got Plowed” look, but she should know that she has to make sure her weave/wig is on point at all times. You didn’t bring a comb Halle?

Quick! Call Dr. Miracle! This legendary haute couture muse is in dire need of some nape and temple gro! Read on to find out…..


DAAAAAAAAMN Naomi! You would think that after ALL this money and time, Naomi Campbell would’ve worked on this! Because Seattle Slim cares, here’s my PSA for the day:
Before you have Niecy and/or Rayneesha do your weave or braids, make sure they don’t pull your dome back. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

As you may know, Saaphyri was the winner of VH1 and Monique’s “Charm School.” The lucky reality tart won $50,000 some of which will hopefully buy her a better weave , beating out Buckeey, Buckwild and Leilene. Congrats to her!! I felt that she deserved it the most, even if she was TRIFLING for blowing her nose on the clothes. She talked to Essence about a few things, including her snotfest:

ESSENCE.com: You once said that winning $50,000 was like winning $1 million. How has it changed your life?

S.W.: I got the money but I realize that money doesn’t make a person; you got to make the person. I am putting a down payment on my condo. It feels good to have your own, but just to clear the air I don’t live in a box. I lived with roommates, but as long as you don’t have your own it’s like you’re homeless but any second you could be out on the streets. For some reason people think I live in a box. Yes, it’s nice that I can pay my light bills, my mortgage. I can’t afford to say I’m never going to work again, but it helps to have a platform to stand strong on.

ESSENCE.COM: Love the new ‘do and you’ve lost weight. Was that compliments of Charm School?

S.W.: Not the hair, I just felt like going black so I did. We had makeovers, but my hair wasn’t black. What I did gain from Charm School was learning to take my time eating. That’s something I wouldn’t have done a year ago. I’ve lost so much weight because when you take your time eating, you get full before you’re done. I’ve learned a beauty secret. My clothes so slow that’s something I wouldn’t have done a year ago. I lost weight taking your time eating all slow you get full before your done. I’ve learned a beauty secret.

ESSENCE.com: Is there any animosity between you and the girls?

S.W.: I never have animosity towards anybody. Even if I did, I wouldn’t talk about the person in my interview because it’s my time! So, I love everybody!

ESSENCE.COM: Well, let’s revisit some of your antics. Do you think that blowing your nose on the clothes and throwing a tantrum was charming?

S.W.: As far as me blowing my nose on that shirt it was either my face or that, so I chose. After the way I was feeling, I felt revived after I did it. Sometimes it isn’t until you go through things in life that you discover how it truly affects you. I didn’t know that giving away all my stuff would affect me like that or that I would carry on like that. I felt degraded, but I had to learn that things don’t make you; you make things.

Check out Essence.com for more of Saaphyri’s interview and her thoughts on Mo’nique!

Here’s the cover of the new Rolling Stone issue with covergirl Amy Winehouse. Lord knows I love Amy. She’s better than most of the females in the game right now(Rihanna, Britney, Ashlee Simp, Jessica Simp, etc.), but heaven help me that ball of hair on her head is destroying me. It’s like a hat made of hair. I don’t even think the rodent projects that were built in that bitch survived. Open it up and you’ll find a holocaust in it. Anyway, the new issue is on sale today! Here’s an excerpt:

“Winehouse and Blake are a pair of self-destructive souls equally capable of being the best or the worst thing that’s ever happened to each other. They … share matching scars, though the ones on his left forearm look older - and more rigorously inflicted – than hers. They are partners in crime who disappear to the bathroom with such regularity that one can’t help but speculate about possible drug use.”

Tell me something I didn’t know. Like something along the lines of her eating….
Source

The ladies at 3AM Showbiz of The Mirror found this picture of Beyonce and the family of rats living in her head leaving a department store in Paris. I for the LIFE of me cannot figure out where the hell her real hair starts, if it is even on her head at all, and where the fake hair ends. Jesus be some Murray’s Pomade…….
(Photo taken by Bigpicturephotos.com)

Jesus be a comb and a stylist.

This chic is constantly setting fashion trends. What’s not to like about a wet ass crack from swimming in your thong bikini? Huh?
I am just trying to figure out why she thinks this is okay, who LET her leave the house like this to begin with and WHY aren’t they fired? If it’s this easy to style this girl, I could mos def get a job. I’d have her wearing chicken suits and stripper clothes and collecting a fat paycheck. Thing is…she’d probably look better.
Simon Cowell was quoted as saying:

“Lock the door, don’t go out with your stupid friends, have some home-cooked food, get a sense of reality.”

“And then say to yourself, ‘There’s more good in my life than bad. I’m still a rich, talented girl – now I want to get my career back on track.’ End of story.”

Umm I don’t know about talented, but he’s right on for everything else! Where is her mom???????

These two flowers of female virtue, Candice Lang and Cedra Neeley, arrested for robbery? It can’t be! Just look at the crusty scab of virtue on Cedra’s face and the horribly drawn eyebrows! And Candice! Nobody would believe a dark goddess with such an angelic used, blonde weave would injure anyone, right? Well apparently they did, and on several occassions. A male tourist from Minnesota came in to New York for a good time with a girl named “Tiffany” after he answered “her” ad on Craigslist, but found himself jumped and beaten when they tried to run up on his pockets. The girls were arrested on robbery charges for the incident with this nasty son of a b!tch tourist. I can’t believe it!
It’s not the first time either. These skanks have been robbing cats all the way to New York from California and Las Vegas.

The tourist, whose name was not released, was assaulted and robbed by the woman and her female partner, who was hiding in the hotel room closet, police said.

Candice Lang, 19, and Cedra Neely, 18, each stand about 5-feet-2 and weigh 110 pounds - but police say they’ve become quite the pilfering pair.

They’ve been arrested twice in the past week for robbing and assaulting their unsuspecting johns in midtown hotels, a police source said.

I am still laughing at the black chic’s weave. DAMNED SHAME!
At first I felt bad for the guy, but single or not he’s still nasty. I guess he thought the prostitutes in Minnesota weren’t good enough, or maybe Myspace stock in hoes went down.

Ah yes with a string of pathetic 11 minute concerts, horrible wardrobe decisions, screwed up attitude and completely acting like a brat by not visiting her sick mother in the hospital on Mother’s Day, and this picture right here of the WORST weave I’ve ever seen….I would say: Cats start your watches! It’s only a matter of time before this girl loses it again. I anxiously await for her to get so trashed that she goes in for an interview naked, half her weave hanging off. Now THAT’S entertainment!