Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

*Snickers* Jesus give me strength!

Daniel Day-Lewis and his lady attended the premiere of his latest movie “There Will Be Blood” looking TIGHT TO DEATH! I mean she had her “The Sound Of Music” swagger on point. And Daniel? Don’t hate. He’s modeling the latest in crusty English teacher couture.

As for the lady (Silvia Miles) on the right? *SMDH* Look at what they did to those poor beavers. Such a shame……..

See this right here! Little mama is stylin’ on these broads. HARD.
Dyed pink rat fur hat: check!
Wet ‘N’ Wild Makeup: check!
Hamster leggings: you damned right!

Four words: Get. On. Her. Level!

Ahhhh yes! It’s Monday. But don’t despair! I thought I would cheer you up with these pictures from the club!! You can thank me later. Yeah I know you love me!

Aside from looking like a trout, she had the nerve to be out in the streets with two hamsters glued to the side of her face. Wait? Those aren’t hamsters. *gasp* Those are sideburns!!!

Perhaps she was auditioning for Chewbacca’s rap video, “Furballin’ These Hoes?” I’m reaching I know.

Oh it’s our friend again!!! I am sooooo mad at her little toe. That joint looks gangrenous.
And $50 (Monopoly) bucks to whoever can tell me what the HELL is going on in this picture. I see pants down, fake money on the floor, dead baby toes, and someone doing an impression of a position in the Kama Sutra….WTF?

I know we’ve all heard of deodorant for your underarms, but I think she needs full body deodorant with MAX STRENGTH ANTI-PERSPIRANT. Swamp ass is not cute. These girls look like a bottle of mustard, ketchup and a saltshaker. McDonald’s couture!


Look at Ashanti’s little sister! What is wrong with these celebrity little sisters? First Solange and now this one? It looks like the best part of their daddy’s sperm went into making their big sisters. They just got the guys who swam into the tip repeatedly before finally finding their way to the egg. *SMDH*

Yellow has NEVER been a good idea for a suit. EVER. He looks like a walking bottle of Miller Genuine Draft.

Mmmmmm beer….

Uhh no comment on Tank.

I blame Diamond from Crime Mob for this right here……

This is straight out of Diamond’s Magic City Nights Collection. Glass and platform ho shoes are not included. Wait a minute? Tiny is that you? Where’s T.I. in all of this?

Some fashion lames complained about homegirl wearing white after Labor Day. HELLO!!! That rule went out the window LAST YEAR with a few of the couture collections. I am MAD at her face though………….


WHY the hood????? I mean really? She looks like she’s on her way to audition for a Parliament Funkadelic 2008 Reunion tour. *singing “Swing down…..I’m gon’ ride…..”*

(Photo spotted at SandraRose.com)

THIS OUTFIT RIGHT HERE IS THE TRUTH!!! Seriously! Christian LaCroix, Miu Miu, Fendi, Louis Vuitton, Tracey Reese are WAY behind the times. This season vending machine couture is the rage. Just ask Kandi Burruss.

I have my Sour Skittles joints on order. They’re hot except for the word “sour” is right on my crotch. I hope it doesn’t send the wrong message…….

And the Anna Nicole Smith Slutbag Whore Tittayballs Award goes to:

This chick!!!!! *sheds lone tear* Just look at them. It looks like she got into a fight with a truck transporting Honeydew to Safeway and lost………..

One question: Why?????
This preying mantis model was featured at the Spring 2008 fashion show for Grey Ant and I’ve got to wonder, what were they thinking when they made her walk out like this?????

I HOPE that she’s still a virgin, because I don’t know very many men that would want her razor sharp pelvis I call them hip blades to be anywhere around their “twig and berries.” She needs somebody’s “mama’s biscuits.” Screw that, she needs 100% pure lard smoothies twice a day.