Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Now it’s personal! The Golden Globes have been canceled thanks to the stupid writer’s strike. I’m sorry but remind me WHY they are still picketing? I love the hell out the Golden Globes. It’s the first major awards show where celebrities show their ass in crappy outfits or nice ones.

“We are all very disappointed that our traditional awards ceremony will not take place this year and that millions of viewers worldwide will be deprived of seeing many of their favorite stars celebrating 2007’s outstanding achievements in motion pictures and television,” Hollywood Foreign Press Association president Jorge Camara said. “We take some comfort, however, in knowing that this year’s Golden Globe Award recipients will be announced on the date originally scheduled.”

Someone’s going to pay for this! They’d better get back to work or they’ll find a team of Indians or Russians to start writing our shows for us. A bit of “outsourcing” will teach ‘em.

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Happy Thursday! You know how I show you my love? A RehDogg video. Hey! It’s better than me inviting you to my island “resort” and giving you some Kool-Aid to drink…..

I got hipped to this cat from being over at C&D last year and I gotta tell ya…..he’s THE BEST. Would it be bad to admit that I actually think about him when I’m alone in the tub??**

What’s not to like about this video? We’ve got the Ike Turner bowl cut wig going on, the black cape for the black hobbit effect, the yelping like a dying moose, AND the piece de resistance: the quick glimpse of two dogs humping. This is everything I ever wanted in a video. Word to Missy and Busta Rhymes circa 1995.

**LOL yeah right…if I were thinking of drowning myself.

Kelly is yapping her trap about a possible reunion AGAIN…….

“A couple of weeks ago, Beyonce did a show in Los Angeles and asked me and Michelle (Williams) to join her on stage for Survivor. It was a real tear-jerker. The fans were crying and going nuts. I’d definitely like us to do more stuff like that,” she added.

Rowland says that she and Knowles will be discussing the band’s future over Christmas dinner. “As ever, Beyonce and I will spend Christmas Day together. It will be a real family affair,” she said.

I bet it WAS a tear-jerker considering Beyonce ordered asked them to sing “Survivor” on HER tour. I would cry too!!! They were crying because they realize they’ll never pack a stadium like that on their own………

Kelly is in serious need of some kind of therapy because this right here is just sad and pathetic. I don’t EVER hear Beyonce talk about her in that way. Go form your own group or hit up BETTER producers………….

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I STRONGLY encourage you to watch this video so that you can see what pure f*ckery looks like and never be mistaken about it again.

We all know that Baby Bash and Sean Kingston are two of the worst artists in the hip-hop/r&b game right now, but they had never put their sh*ttyness together…..until now. This song is puerile at best. The video? It looks like some kid’s project for his Art Institute of Seattle A/V class. See for yourself, but try not to go into an epileptic fit:

Britney Spears’ sister is preggers y’all!

(Photo taken from Yahoo)

“It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected,” she said. “I was in
complete and total shock and so was he.”

Spears is 12 weeks along and initially kept the news to herself when she
learned of the pregnancy from an at-home test and subsequent doctor visit, she
told the celebrity magazine, which hits stands in New York on Wednesday and the
rest of the country by Friday.

What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? “I definitely don’t think it’s something you should do; it’s better to wait,” she told the magazine. “But I can’t be judgmental because it’s a position I put myself in.”

Lynne Spears must be the PROUDEST mother on Earth right now. One daughter is a cokewhore and the other is pregnant at sixteen with a stalled career. *SMDH* Mother of the year!

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Sexy! Hot! On Fire!

Sheer Glitter Tank Top: $15
Sheer Purple Dress from the stripper/adult store: $20.50
Showing off your sagging body parts and FUPA in granny panties: PRICELESS!!!

Did Omarion and Bow Wow suddenly get some generosity in them? It looks like they let a hobo off the street into their swanky party.

Wait that’s not a hobo! That’s “Slick’em” from disbanded Pretty Ricky! He’s also known as the ugly one. Yeah that one! Did the checks stop coming in so soon?

Why do people put up videos of themselves dancing or singing on YouTube and aren’t on point? Do they not understand that there are millions of people WATCHING????

She’s not the first actress to be embarrassed like this, but why does it only happen to white women? We’ve never seen a black actress like Halle Berry insulted for having an ample bottom.

(Source)

Ummm Janet…that’s not OUR fault. That sounds like a problem that should be categorized under “YP.” And while she’s incorrect (remember the flack Serena Williams got for her behind while playing tennis?) I don’t hear black blogs and media up in arms against Melyssa Ford, Buffie The Body or even the idiotic Angel Lola Love.

While I think it’s screwed up to talk crap about Jennifer Love Hewitt’s body because it IS normal, she did bring it upon herself by being part of the war machine that wrought destruction on the minds of young girls and women in the late ’90s. I mean she wasn’t famous for her ACTING abilities…..

Ahhhh yes! It’s Monday. But don’t despair! I thought I would cheer you up with these pictures from the club!! You can thank me later. Yeah I know you love me!

Aside from looking like a trout, she had the nerve to be out in the streets with two hamsters glued to the side of her face. Wait? Those aren’t hamsters. *gasp* Those are sideburns!!!

Perhaps she was auditioning for Chewbacca’s rap video, “Furballin’ These Hoes?” I’m reaching I know.

Oh it’s our friend again!!! I am sooooo mad at her little toe. That joint looks gangrenous.
And $50 (Monopoly) bucks to whoever can tell me what the HELL is going on in this picture. I see pants down, fake money on the floor, dead baby toes, and someone doing an impression of a position in the Kama Sutra….WTF?

I know we’ve all heard of deodorant for your underarms, but I think she needs full body deodorant with MAX STRENGTH ANTI-PERSPIRANT. Swamp ass is not cute. These girls look like a bottle of mustard, ketchup and a saltshaker. McDonald’s couture!


Look at Ashanti’s little sister! What is wrong with these celebrity little sisters? First Solange and now this one? It looks like the best part of their daddy’s sperm went into making their big sisters. They just got the guys who swam into the tip repeatedly before finally finding their way to the egg. *SMDH*