Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Well I mean damn! All these hoes following my style, I mean I’m naming myself BIGGEST trendsetter of 2007. I get sperminated pollenated and now everybody wants to be pollenated and pregnant too?? LOL

Not like I care, but to get more hits, I figure I’d remind the world that Jessica Alba is pregnant by her boyfriend Cash Warren!! Yay! Okay back to our regularly scheduled f*ckery!

I hate her………*turns green with envy*

Christina Aguilera will be displaying all of the nude photos she took for the January issue of Marie Claire in her home! Isn’t that narcisstic cute?

A source said: “Christina loved those pictures, and wants to put them up in her house so everyone can see them.

“She also wants them to be up when the baby is born so she can show him or her what their mum looked like while she was pregnant.”

Yeah well I’m looking at taking some too but they damned sure won’t be nude. I don’t want to frighten my boys or answer any questions along the lines of “Mommy! Why do your tits look like two deflated rump roasts hanging down to your girlie parts?”

Not good for my soul at all……

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Christina Aguilera graces the January issue of Marie Claire looking STUNNING. Pregnant chicks have the game on lock this year huh?

Umm I’m glad that she feels sexy and all but I am tired, uncomfortable and ravenous most of the time. My cover would probably include me with chocolate all over my face, holding a drumstick, crumbs all on my belly sitting in a chair. That and my tits are DAMNED sure not that perky for being pregnant. Neither are hers but I don’t have the benefit of being airbrushed.

The moms were out at night in L.A. last night looking nice. See? Moms is pimps too!


(Is it JUST me or does Halle look a) tired or b) faded???)

I know a preggie when I see one and damn it put down $50 on the books from me that she is knocked up. Girl stop! Those ‘tetas’ are voluptous AND the belly is visibly rotund and protruding.

Jenny from the block performed on Good Morning America today and was interviewed by Diane Sawyer. Get this though:

Speaking amid a crowd of people outside the ABC studio in the middle of Times Square, where Lopez, 38, performed a live concert to promote her new CD Brave, a pained-looking Sawyer said to the singer: “All right, all right, I know what everybody’s asking, and I know you have so little privacy in your life … so, I’m just going to say, ‘How are you?’ ”

Replied Lopez: “I’m very well, thank you. This is really, really a great, happy time in my life. … Everything’s great.”

She credited her happiness to her new album and her current concert tour with husband Marc Anthony – for which Lopez has dressed in modest, loose-fitting ensembles designed by Roberto Cavalli. (Her GMA dress was equally ample.)

When the interview segment of Lopez’s appearance concluded, Sawyer, 61, said to her guest, “Can I hug you, ’cause I’m happy.”

Sawyer then embraced Lopez’s shoulder, never coming anywhere near her stomach.

How much you want to bet that Diane Sawyer knows for sure she’s pregnant, but didn’t want to give it away and that J.Lo already brokered or will broker a deal to announce her pregnancy to Sawyer?

Before you bet I was one of the first to call Christina Aguilera’s pregnancy and Tameka Foster’s as well.

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Oooh this is an exciting time to be knocked up! All these other chics around me are pregnant too! I don’t feel so “rone-ry”! Her outfit is banging and I must go cop something like it! The hat is so on point too. Go Christina!

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Watching celebrities fall brings me untold joy. I don’t know why it just does. Maybe it’s because I’m a spiteful old harpie but I digress. What would be the BEST fall EVER?? That’s simple! Rihanna falling down some steps flat on her forehead would bring me the kind of elation you get if you’ve done too much ecstasy! But until then, here are a few I peeped.

This one is The Game falling. This one is hilarious because as he goes down he realizes it and he yells “Oh Sh*t” into the mic. LOL I was destroyed when I saw this.

This one with Christina killed me more so because she said, “That hurt actually.” LOL Who cares???

And THIS one right here is classic. I never get tired of watching this.

For more click here to watch!

Christina Aguilera was in Shanghai to do press for her “Back To Basics” Asian tour and she was looking preggy fabulous! I think she looks great but it seems like to me she was hiding her bump under that long, layered dress. Standing sideways it looks like she has a small bump which makes her dress look a little hiked up in the front. Just look closely. She is definitely pregnant……..