Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

I don’t know if this is a reflection on Vibe per se, but the “turnout” at their event had about as much star power as a black hole…

I for the life of me cannot UNDERSTAND why they got rid of “NY Undercover” with this brother on it. That was the business back in the mid-90s. Is it just me or does he look like he has a “life partner” as opposed to a “girlfriend?”

I love Cee-Lo so I tend to leave him alone because he was BRILLIANT on that Gnarls Barkley album. That joint is probably one of the best albums of all time. I just wonder if he has a hard time closing his mouth sometimes……

In an effort to extend her 15 minutes of fame to 15 minutes and 30 seconds, Saaphyri crawled out from her crevice. She’s still unbe-weaveable!

So handsome and yet so dumb. David Banner is a walking oxymoron. Please emphasize the moron after his latest comments on “snitching.” He looks like the type of cat you only call over to smash, then when he tries to talk afterwards, you tell him to stop talking and get out until the next time.

Every time I see Chrissette Michele I want to reach out to her. By reach out I mean getting together with her to hatch a plan to off the skank girl that ruined her debut: Rihanna.

VH1 “Flavor Of Love alum” skank and “Charm School” reject Schatar “Hottie” Taylor talks to Essenceabout the show:

Because of my level of sophistication, I am saying the winner’s persona clearly reflects and defines the belief and opinions about young women that are held by the one who judged her. They should have thrown them all out and started all over. My fans, whom I love so much, and my family, who is very proud of my accomplishments, say I am the Charmed One and I am somebody. I am always a winner in life and in living because I’ve always known the secret that the rest of the ladies are only now discovering: enjoying life and drawing goodness to you.

Now I know this is Schatar’s way of staying relevant. It really is not over for her. She will be on “The Surreal Life” sooner than later. TRUST! She even has a website. That broad laughs all the way to the bank ON US. When she gets home she takes off the wig, the makeup, the clothes and sits in front of a huge fireplace in her mansion laughing like The Joker at how she really has us fooled. At least I hope so. How do you leave the house thinking that looking like the way she does is alright????? Chick stop!
Schatar:‘I got these motherf*ckers on lock! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bitches!

As you may know, Saaphyri was the winner of VH1 and Monique’s “Charm School.” The lucky reality tart won $50,000 some of which will hopefully buy her a better weave , beating out Buckeey, Buckwild and Leilene. Congrats to her!! I felt that she deserved it the most, even if she was TRIFLING for blowing her nose on the clothes. She talked to Essence about a few things, including her snotfest:

ESSENCE.com: You once said that winning $50,000 was like winning $1 million. How has it changed your life?

S.W.: I got the money but I realize that money doesn’t make a person; you got to make the person. I am putting a down payment on my condo. It feels good to have your own, but just to clear the air I don’t live in a box. I lived with roommates, but as long as you don’t have your own it’s like you’re homeless but any second you could be out on the streets. For some reason people think I live in a box. Yes, it’s nice that I can pay my light bills, my mortgage. I can’t afford to say I’m never going to work again, but it helps to have a platform to stand strong on.

ESSENCE.COM: Love the new ‘do and you’ve lost weight. Was that compliments of Charm School?

S.W.: Not the hair, I just felt like going black so I did. We had makeovers, but my hair wasn’t black. What I did gain from Charm School was learning to take my time eating. That’s something I wouldn’t have done a year ago. I’ve lost so much weight because when you take your time eating, you get full before you’re done. I’ve learned a beauty secret. My clothes so slow that’s something I wouldn’t have done a year ago. I lost weight taking your time eating all slow you get full before your done. I’ve learned a beauty secret.

ESSENCE.com: Is there any animosity between you and the girls?

S.W.: I never have animosity towards anybody. Even if I did, I wouldn’t talk about the person in my interview because it’s my time! So, I love everybody!

ESSENCE.COM: Well, let’s revisit some of your antics. Do you think that blowing your nose on the clothes and throwing a tantrum was charming?

S.W.: As far as me blowing my nose on that shirt it was either my face or that, so I chose. After the way I was feeling, I felt revived after I did it. Sometimes it isn’t until you go through things in life that you discover how it truly affects you. I didn’t know that giving away all my stuff would affect me like that or that I would carry on like that. I felt degraded, but I had to learn that things don’t make you; you make things.

Check out Essence.com for more of Saaphyri’s interview and her thoughts on Mo’nique!