Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

*sobbing* He ain’t no DAMNED good still being with that girl, when I’ve got TWO good, tried and true ovaries that are ready for him to “pollenate.”

*In best Bronx voice* But I love him….*sigh* She is just chilling with my man, Rene aka Residente of Calle 13, at the Latin Grammy party while I marinate in my own jealous rage and disgust!!!!! If I see her in the streets, I’ma “pop my trunk….”

Sh*t ain’t right man…*sniffles* I’ll be back. I gotta go put on “Love Is A Losing Game” by Amy Winehouse. Maybe I’ll dedicate “November Rain” on Guitar Hero to him to ease my sorrow………….

**I kid. But I will take her man if she don’t keep it tight. Word to Britney Spears…**

This is my damned jam! *Slim does the toe wop and the Aunt Jackie* Of course you know who this is! It’s Residente (Rene Perez Jolgar) from Calle 13. By now y’all should be well acquainted with my future baby daddy and future ex-husband this dude. This motherf*cker is destined for a drugging and some molestation backstage if he comes to Seattle. LOL I already have my “press” pass ready!!

The beat goes hard and even if you don’t understand what he’s saying (the language is very dirty lol so if you don’t know slang Spanish you won’t miss a lot of blushing). Check it out!

I’m “so serious” I am mad as HELL right now. When are these rat bastids coming to Seattle? What are we? Used Tampons? Ivy Queen, Daddy Yankee, Calle 13 and Tego Calderon performed at MSG in NYC for the La Kalle jumpoff. My envy can hardly hide itself……..

The baddest gap in the game next to mine!!! Tego looked rugged as always. I like Tego. Our gaps should exchange numbers…..

I…ummm…wow. This is Rene from Calle 13. What else is there to say. I mean he look aight. No big thing……….

I mean SO WHAT if I beat off to his picture late at night in the bathroom with candles lit??? That’s nothing right??? The fact that I would lick day old bacon grease off of his loins don’t mean sh*t either.