Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Uh-oh! Someone’s trying to get into Chris Breezy’s pockets!

Talk about a hefty Christmas present. A concert set designer has reportedly filed a million-dollar lawsuit against the tour company of R&B star Chris Brown.

John Troxtel alleges that Brown’s touring company didn’t own up to their end of the bargain after a verbal agreement for his work designing the sets for Brown’s “Up Close and Personal” Tour.

What is going on with all this litigation crap? Rapper Birdman is also being sued for allegedly not paying licensing fees.

All I know is if they need a lawyer, they can hollar at Seattle Slim Esquire. I do watch a lot of Law & Order. I got my litigation game on lock!

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So yesterday the blogs were buzzing with the rumor that rapper Remy Ma had a lesbian affair with some chick in New York. Here’s the video that started it all, in case you missed it:

Well Remy, via her reps, are denying the whole thing and claim she isn’t even a lesbian.

“The fraudulent video hoax that has surfaced of an alleged female lover of Remy Ma is completely false and reps for Remy Ma emphatically deny these claims. The staged video and storyline, as well as the voice on the phone posing as Remy are all fictitious and have made it very obvious that this is a deliberate attempt to undermine Remy’s name and character. Remy Ma has not nor has she ever been involved in a same sex relationship with the accuser or any other woman however Remy is respectful of those who choose the alternative lifestyle. Again, this video and claim are both 100% untrue and we hope that the involved accusers are aware of the civil liberties violated in the taping of this video.”

Honestly this right here is damned near irrelevant. Remy is not on that level to where we should care whose “box” she’s been eating. But I’m more inclined to believe it’s a hoax. That girl doesn’t even SOUND like Remy. I bet Lil’ Kim did this!

Hell yeah I would’ve kicked her out. I realize that she is accustomed to being an attention whore but not at somebody’s wedding. I would’ve spilled red punch on her ass. How do you go to a family wedding dressed like that???

The singer apparently arrived at her cousin Nigel’s wedding wearing a revealing dress which threatened to expose her breasts, angering the bride’s Christian family, before she refused to eat the food provided for guests and tucking into her own pre-packed meal.

“I was shocked when I saw what Rihanna was wearing. Every time she moved, her breasts looked like they were ready to come loose,” said a shocked wedding guest to mediatakeout.com.

“She brought her own food and wouldn’t touch anything else… Our food must not be good enough for a big star like her.”

Rihanna was then asked to leave as it was felt her cleavage and packed lunch were drawing attention away from the bride and groom - but not before she had an argument with her mother and aunt on her way out.

Now my fam is from the Islands. I’m half Bajan (Barbadian) myself. These are things you just don’t do. Wedding crashing skank. And how the hell you don’t want to eat the food at a WEST-INDIAN wedding girl? Ho sit down…..

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Yeah, yeah so I used an older photo of Justin. It’s not like he CHANGES his style though.

Anyway, Jermaine Dupri lashed out at Timberlake in his new autobiography “Young, Rich and Dangerous,” regarding the infamous “nipplegate” scandal he shared with Dupri’s main squeeze, Janet Jackson.

Dupri - still furious at the “Sexyback” star for not standing up for his lady Janet Jackson during her Super Bowl “wardrobe malfunction,” when Timberlake was onstage with her - writes, “I think Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. But he’s very ordinary-looking. He could be any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando. You could go to the mall and find another Justin. He doesn’t make his style interesting even when he’s onstage. To me, he just doesn’t look like a star.” Timberlake’s rep declined comment.

Wow!! I wonder if Jermaine is still mad over that, or because Janet and Justin were smashing?

There was also no word on whether Justin called Papa Smurf to ask that he keep one of his boys in check. Those black smurfs are a trip…………….
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Uh oh! Britney Spears’ record label, Zomba, is NOT pleased with Perez Hilton leaking her tracks via his blog. In fact, they are suing his ass.

Attorneys for Zomba Recording LLC, which owns the copyrights to Britney Spears’ recordings, filed suit in federal court in Los Angeles today charging the online gossip website PerezHilton.com and its proprietor Mario Lavandeira with illegally obtaining and posting recordings by Spears.

The suit accuses Lavandeira of infringing Zomba’s copyrights by posting at least 10 completed tracks and unfinished demos from Ms. Spears’ upcoming album, “Blackout,” over the past three months. “Blackout” was originally scheduled to be released on Nov. 13 but because of internet leaks, Ms. Spears’ label Jive Records announced yesterday it was moving up the release date to Oct. 30.

Spears herself is not a party to the lawsuit.

“The unauthorized dissemination of recordings is a serious violation of copyright law,” said a Zomba spokesperson. “In addition, posting demos and unfinished songs as if they were final versions is grossly unfair to the artist and misleading to the public.”

Well how do you hide from that????? It’s on the blog! They have proof! I don’t see why they are all that mad at him anyway. The album wasn’t going to sell that much anyway. So all you blogs who had all her sh*t uploaded, HIDE YOUR STASH! The jig is up!

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There are so many parts to this story. I will just summarize and cut out the bullshit. Basically, Barry Bonds’ long time mistress, Kimberly Bell, is telling about their long-running affair right before the new issue of Playboy, featuring her, is released on Friday. She alleges that Barry Bonds admitted to taking steroids, continued their relationship and took her on the road with him even after he got married, and was volatile and violent.

She told Inside Edition some LOVELY things:

Bell says that Bonds actually told her he used steroids. Over the years, Bell says there were numerous physical changes in Barry. “There was a huge increase in size. Going from being a lean athlete to looking like a linebacker. Bloating. Acne on his back. Losing of the hair. Dysfunction sexually.” {<----OUCH!!! That's gonna irritate him yeah?}

Bonds has denied that he ever knowingly used steroids.

Kimberly showed INSIDE EDITION a binder full of treasured mementos of the couples time together. But, there are other things Kimberly kept: tapes of disturbing phone messages. Bell says, “If I said I was going to be home at three in the afternoon and I wasn’t home until 3:30 he would explode on me.” But, she says Barry only became violent on one occasion. “He twisted me around and pushed me against the walland whispered in my ear, ‘If you ever do this again, I’ll kill you.’” Bell says that the only thing she had done in this instance was arrive twenty minutes late.

Kimberly claims that after the baseball steroid scandal broke, Bonds cut his ties with her. They last saw each other in 2003. Bell says Bonds told her, “I need you to disappear…maybe forever.”

But she says she testified about Bonds alleged steroid use before a grand jury, and now she hopes the Playboy spread is the start of a new life for her. “Now is the time for me to take control of my own life,” Kimberly tells INSIDE EDITION. “He’s no longer in charge of it, that’s for sure.”

Well if he broke up with your whoring ass in 2003, what have you been waiting on to continue your life? An invitation from the Queen? Bitch please…….

I mean they are both scandalous but come on, it’s evident from this NY Post article in Page Six that she’s an opportunist and smut peddler. I have no love for jumpoffs or their tricks. That means you Barry!

(Image ganked from NY Daily News)

Miss USA Rachel Smith, most famous for falling on her behind earlier this year, outlined her career goals but didn’t have much love for pioneer Katie Couric.

“I always wanted to be a reporter — maybe some TV. Who knows? Some serious news — but some modeling, too,” she said at the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network event last week.

“I just don’t want to end up like Katie Couric. I want people to take me seriously.”

Sure Couric was a damned fool for leaving the Today show but we all make mistakes right and she’s still a pioneer. This (C)Rocawear-donning scamp should just hang it up if her attitude sucks this bad. Oh and here’s what Couric had to say via rep:

“If she continues to offer such profound insight, she will not have to worry about anyone taking her seriously.”

Now there is nothing new about the rumors that Shaquille O’Neal is divorcing Shaunie O’Neal because of her cheating with a hunky Cuban trainer (Ay Papi!). But she was for sure d*ckmatized if this part of the rumor turns out to be true:

According to our source, Shaunie has been having a raging affair with one of Shaq’s personal trainers - described as “a muscular Cuban.” When Shaunie fell for this guy she started stashing money away and went so far as to put a secret down payment on a HOUSE that she plans to share with the Cuban!

I mean I won’t speak for Shaquille but IF my man was taking any of my money to pay for some ho, I’m burning the ENTIRE house down and blowing up cars. I mean I do have a little “maleante” (rude boy) in me. I’m just saying…..

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What am I lying? I mean it’s the truth and I’m sticking to it!
CNN.com is reporting that O.J. Simpson is an alleged suspect in an alleged robbery at a Las Vegas Casino/Hotel.

“We’re waiting right now to see if we can put together a press conference,” Loretto told CNN. “We haven’t arrested him or anything else; the investigation is very preliminary right now.”

Asked whether Simpson is a suspect, the officer replied, “It is an alleged theft, and he is an alleged suspect.”

CNN affiliate KVBC-TV in Las Vegas said the matter involved allegations of robbery at Palace Station Hotel and Casino.

Simpson was acquitted in the June 1994 slayings of his ex-wife, Nicole, and her friend Ronald Goldman.

This time they won’t f-ck up. There will be no Mark Fuhrman. There will be no idiot LAPD. They will be thorough this time. You tell me, which white cop wouldn’t be happy to take this negro down? I’m just saying! Cats can get offended if they want, but one of those cats is going to try and “make it do what it do.” It’s the super-duper “catch-a-n*gga” kit for O.J. this time around.

Remy Ma has been indicted on new charges of witness tampering and gang assault stemming from an incident at a club on August 19th in the Bronx. This is so complicated, I’m just going to copy and paste. What tangled webs we weave damn it!

….the boyfriend of a potential witness in Remy’s attempted murder case, claims he and a friend were roughed up by Remy’s crew at the Player’s Club on Randall’s Avenue in the Bronx. Prosecutor Michael McIntosh says that Remy first approached the unidentified victim and argued with him over his girlfriend’s intent to testify. “Your girlfriend’s changing her number on me, and people are taking the stand,” Remy allegedly told the man. At that point, it is believed that Remy’s own boyfriend and his associates assaulted the man and his friend as they tried to approach club security. According to the New York Post, Supreme Court Justice Rena Uviller declined a prosecutor’s request to increase Remy’s bail, which already stands at $250,000, because she is skeptical that the new charges will stick. Uviller queried McIntosh as to why nobody else, including Remy’s boyfriend, has been charged with witness tampering. A bail decision has been postponed until next week while the judge reviews the grand jury minutes.

Doesn’t this broad have a kid? TRY to stay out of jail will ya? I mean damn! Some folks act like raising their kids is too much damned trouble.

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