Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

NICE move Oprah!

Alicia Keys has won the lead role of Lena Horne in an upcoming biopic backed by Oprah Winfrey. Janet Jackson was originally {WTF???<--Slim} picked for the role but was cut after her Superbowl “Nipplegate” antics. Sources say Janet was “devastated” when she was fired, as she had been vying for that role for some time.

OH WELL!!! Janet Jackson should let this be a lesson. Not acting your age and trying to be like these young birds will only get you so far. Lately it hasn’t gotten her very far at all with her albums failing. Alicia Keys is a good look!

Yup! Smart move jumping ship on rap because it damned sure isn’t paying anything! Xzibit is adding yet another role to his growing movie resume by joining the cast of the upcoming X-Files movie.

I’m glad he’s doing his movie thing, and the roles don’t seem too bad. Other rappers would’ve gone for “Niggas In Space” or something…..*side eyes Snoop Dogg*

Xzibit has reportedly joined the cast of the upcoming film adaptation of popular ‘90’s TV series The X-Files. According to the Hollywood Reporter, X to the Z, actress Amanda Peet and comedian Billy Connolly all recently finalized their involvement with the film. While Fox declined to comment on any details about their roles, citing a policy of secrecy around the plotline, sources indicated to the Reporter that Xzibit and Peet will play FBI agents working alongside the two main characters of Mulder and Scully

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With a star studded cast which includes Tamala Jones and Hassan Johnson, I am SURE this movie is guaranteed to get a Golden Globe at the VERY least! I just want to know if Bokeem Woodbine was given a role. A brother has to eat!

On November 16, BET will present the world premiere of Houston MC Mike Jones’ feature film, American Dream. The film, which shares it’s title with Mike’s sophomore solo LP, chronicles the rapper’s rise to fame from the streets of his hometown. Jones co-wrote and stars in American Dream, which was directed by indie filmmaker Derrick Dixon. Clifton Powell, Tamala Jones and Hassan Johnson also have roles in the film. American Dream airs on BET at Friday November 16 at 8:00 p.m., and a DVD of the movie will come bundled with Mike’s album, which hits stores on November 20.

I can hardly wait.

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I didn’t even bother to go see “Step Up” because it looked whack. I’m a child of the 80s. I’ve had MORE than enough dance-off films to last a lifetime. But SOMEBODY felt compelled to give the little teeny-boppers a sequel and here it is. It stars some chick I don’t even know (I didn’t care to find her name out either), Rob Hoffman from “Wildin’ Out” fame, Channing Tatum makes an appearance or something, and Cassie gets in on the fun. She can’t sing, so HOW do they expect her to ACT???

Just looking at the trailer, you can tell that this is for the tweens and teens. I wouldn’t be caught dead outside the theater when this f*ckery comes out. Their attempt at “wit” in the movie sucks, they aren’t original by using the “po’ little white girl who is too streetwise” formula either. First broad to step on my feet at the club trying to emulate this chick is getting shanked in the booty meat. *SMDH* And it comes out on Valentine’s Day? I guess if you want a) your girl to get wet watching Channing or b) not get any at all, you go see this movie as a couple on V-Day 2008.

Wow! I’m amped….. I can’t wait *wan smile*
Will Smith is set to direct a “Karate Kid” remake and will put his son Jaden as Daniel-san. Guess who Mr. Miyagi will be? Jackie Chan!!!

Of all the movies to put your boy in, you pick “Karate Kid” which destroyed Ralph Maggio? *SMDH* The kid deserves to be in good movies after doing “The Pursuit Of Happyness.”

Jaden: But dad I don’t want to do this stupid movie. I’m going to look like a nerd.
Will: You better shut your ass up ‘fo I start to cussin’. You gotta start working seeing as how ya mama ain’t.

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Here’s a clip of one of my FAVORITE movies of ALL TIME 1939’s “The Women.” Before there was “Sex And The City” and a broad named Carrie there was Ms. Stephen Haines as played by Norma Shearer. If you like SATC then you just might like this classic film. It’s incredibly modern! It’s got your man-stealing hoochie, estranged wife, cheating husband, catfights, mad tight fashion, all that. The cool thing about the original is throughout the entire movie you never see a male. If there is a male in the movie he’s an extra and does not have a part at all. This is “the catfight.” I can’t even imagine throwing my dukes up to fight dressed like that. This movie is like “Mean Girls” but for grown folks!

The reason I am posting this clip is they are remaking it!!! Jada Pinkett is part of a more diverse cast.

Annette Bening and a furry friend filmed “The Women” on Fifth Ave. Sunday. The flick, a remake of the 1939 George Cukor movie, also stars Meg Ryan, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Candice Bergen and Debra Messing.

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Need I say this movie looks GOOD? “10,000 B.C.” is about a young warrior who wages a war across countless miles facing mammoths and saber-tooth tigers just to rescue the lady he loves. What I found interesting was that it seemed DEMOGRAPHICALLY accurate with various races and tribes. I can’t wait to see this. If you like “Jurassic Park” and “300,” you’ll want to watch this trailer.

Here’s a glimpse into “Kinky Night” in the Pinkett-Smith household. *Psych!!*
This is a photo of Will as superhero John Hancock in the upcoming film “Hancock.” Don’t hurt ‘em Will!

Umm okay you folks be the judge ultimately but at first I was going to pan it but I kept watching. While I am not spending any money on this movie in the theater, I may see it on DVD. Now that’s just because I’m a movie elitist. I would apologize but I’m not really sorry so there! *shows tongue* Now what I will say that while I was going to write it off as another “ghetto/thug” movie, some of the scenes look like they tried their best to act the hell out of their parts. The premise is still your usual fare (when can we make a good, positive black movie where we aren’t dancing or victims?), but it seems one of the members of the group is a cop. The other two are thugs. They have the usual “evil white cop” (big surprise) who looks bored as hell to be in the movie but happy to be paid regardless. While the plot is pretty manufactured (based off of the trailer), I see they tried and one of them being a cop, actually adds some spice to the equation. Check it out! (Spotted at XXL)

I know it’s a cartoon but I knew that dude was hustling when he went on The Simpsons. I don’t care what you all think, gangsters don’t get on cartoons. That would make them actors. Speaking of which, 50 Cent snagged a role alongside the great Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro in the upcoming flick Righteous Kill. Unfortunately the producers of the film may have seen him in Get Rich Or Die Trying and decided to give him the role of a small-time punk drug dealer. 50 Cent said that he was originally approached to play a cop (yeah right…) but now “Al and Robert play the cops.”

Him playing a cop would’ve put the nail in his career. How crazy would that have been? He would’ve pulled an “Ice-T.”

I can imagine his part will read something like:
“Naw man…you know Ice Dog ain’t be lyin’ to you! Ice Dog is friends to da popo you dig? Word on da skreetz is Hector got that cartel money. Don’t put me into the pen please! I ain’t be got no weapons….” (Insert sniveling negro impression here) and CUT!!!