Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

It’s obvious Mr. Meth has acted before. I don’t care what he does, I STAN HARD for Method Man. He’ll play a dirty, rotten son of a b*tch on next week’s “Law And Order: SVU” and I can’t wait.

Here’s a preview!

To quote DMX: “When we starvin’ we eat whatever’s there…..” Ain’t that right Kelly?

Ms. Kelly Rowland (aka Beyonce’s Wig Duster/Upkeep Technician) will join other singers like Blake Shelton, Patti Labelle, Michael Bolton and Nick Lachey on NBC’s “Clash Of The Choirs” this winter! These weaves don’t pay for themselves!

Michael Bolton, Patti LaBelle, Nick Lachey, Kelly Rowland and Blake Shelton will attempt to bring together twenty individually gifted singers from each of their hometown cities in a limited period of time. Michael Bolton will be traveling to his hometown of New Haven, CT; Patti LaBelle will be going to her hometown in Philadelphia, PA; Nick Lachey will be returning to Cincinnati, OH; Kelly Rowland will be going back to Houston, TX; and Blake Shelton will be traveling to Oklahoma City, OK.

The celebrities will be dealing with choir members from very different musical backgrounds and with very different kinds of vocal training. Once the choirs are assembled they will compete in live performances in New York. After each choir performance, the choirs will be judged by the alternate celebrity choirmasters and a musical expert. However, the fate of the choirs will be determined by viewers watching at home who will have the opportunity to vote via phone or at www.nbc.com.

The winning choir, along with the hometown celebrity musician, will get to pick a prize to help their community. The prize could be anything from renovating a school gym to an auditorium to a constructing a new neighborhood playground.

What a GREAT cause! I think Kelly deserves a little something for having such a dismal year. How about some relevance? A good album? Freedom from Beyonce? Something!

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I am losing the little bit of patience skanky ass Megan Fox inside of me. But these photo calls have been everything from SLUTTY (Yes…Megan Fox…SLUTTY) to just downright asinine. Can anyone tell me WHY they have those cats in the camouflage outfits??? What purpose do they serve? Is this movie a cheap porno or is it about some damned robots? Couldn’t they afford to put some poor Spanish man in some foil and call him Tinfoilus Prime? THESE QUESTIONS NEED ANSWERS! I see Shia “Sexy Beef” LeBeouf is looking nice (y’all do know his name means beef in French. Yeah! You’re welcome!) . I’d smash.

I see the wig is still intact. I love it though! She looks good. Rihanna (anna-anna-anna-eh!) was on hand at Universal Catwalk to sign copies of her CD “Good Girl Gone Bad” released just yesterday. Not much to say so I will just post the pics of her looking cute and doing her damnedest not to eat all that cake in one fell swoop. We all know you are HUUUN-GRY when you are on a no-carb diet.





Her top struck me as a little granny-ish but it’s that mod style. But then again I’m not into covering up Straight video hoe style. Mr. Beatnik likes it. so there we have it. Looks cute!

Justin Timberlake’s new label Tennman Records has signed its first artist and she’s no joke. The 18 year old Dutch songstress is Esmee Denters and Justin is so excited he’s bringing her on tour with him.

Justin revealed yesterday (05.06.07): “In completely unpredicted news to all YouTubers and bloggers, we are proud to announce Esmee Denters has signed to Tennman Records and she will be joining me on tour this summer.”

“Esmee is the real deal and I cannot wait for the world to hear her, but all of her fans on YouTube should not worry, we will keep you in the loop every step of the way.”

Dutch singer Denters, whose web page attracted 21 million hits from web users eager to see her cover versions of hits by Beyonce Knowles, Alanis Morisette and Alicia Keys, is looking forward to writing and recording an album this year.

She said: “Words can’t describe how amazing it is. I am so excited! It is something I have always dreamed of doing. I have to thank YouTube and its viewers for giving me the opportunity to show the world my voice.”

So I went to go check her since she’s on YouTube and I listened to her cover of Otis Redding’s “Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay” and I was amazed. She killed it! She will need a makeover at first but looks don’t make you a good singer. I’m sure I don’t need to mention any names. Here’s Esmee:

Here are pics from Eve’s video “Tambourine.” She looks absolutely fab, but then again it’s very rare that she doesn’t. When she comes with a video, she comes correct. Not bad for dodging a DUI charge huh? I can’t wait to see the end product. What do you guys think?
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