Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

The 2007 Crack Whore of the Year, Britney Spears, made it known that Jamie Lynn was NOT about to swagger jack her “dysfunctional broad” game. Not in the ‘08 hoes!

Britney was taken to Cedars-Sinai last night after a custody dispute erupted at her house. The cops were called and so were the medics and she was taken away on a stretcher. You KNOW this is developing. Will I care in a few hours after I stuff my face? Yeah….just a little. Not a lot.

Why am I not surprised??? I wouldn’t be surprised if she drank vats of man-juice in the morning for a high to be honest. What ISN’T f*cked up about Britney?????

In her latest indiscretion, she is rumored to have told some cat to snort that “china white” off her breasticles.

The troubled star invited guitarist Scott Kohler and ten other revellers back to her Hollywood mansion for a party, just two days after she lost visiting rights to her two young sons.
Scott, who had met Britney earlier that night in Los Angeles club Hyde, claims one male member of the party offered Britney cocaine and “joked he wanted to do a line off her chest and she agreed.”

Scott, 29, said Britney “seemed drunk” and alleged she also snorted the class-A drug, even though she passed a court ordered drug test the next day.

He added to In Touch Weekly magazine: “She was in a great mood. She didn’t have a care in the world.”

Hell yeah! So WHAT if you had two kids to bait some backup dancer who would’ve stayed with you for MONEY alone?????? It’s HER world.

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By now it’s spread like wildfire all throughout the blogging world thanks to an interview Sarah Chapman (Chickenhead #2) did with blogger to the Southern stars Sandra Rose yesterday. YES! I, unlike some people, give CREDIT WHERE IT IS DUE! This blogging mess is really not so important to where people can’t give credit.

Anyway I won’t get into it too much because I am confused my damned self. Long story short, Sarah defended herself and her actions, said she’d been dating Sean Combs off and on for 13 years, and her and Kim Porter (Chickenhead #1) have had words and the like.

See why I’m confused??? Well I got in the discussion over at Sandra’s blog and some chic flies off at the handle at me. WTF? I’m sorry I call it as I see it. And when someone tells me that somebody just HAPPENS to have a degree but can’t make ends meet yet still they have 4 kids, I’m going to let it be known: somewhere somebody screwed up.

LOL *SMDH* There are no words.

Kim Porter will be featured in the upcoming issue of Essence but you don’t have to wait to get a few excerpts:

On Baby Rumors:

ESSENCE: Speaking of being faithful, there have been rumors about Sean and a baby in Atlanta swirling around for a while. Is this why you left the relationship?

KIM PORTER: Hmmm… Well, that definitely was part of it.

On How She Left Him:

ESSENCE: You left the relationship in a very dramatic way. I understand you waited until Sean was out of town and then you packed up the house. You took the cars, the nursery furniture, the kitchen table, everything. Why did it go down like that?

KIM PORTER: Because there was no other way. You think he would have let me walk out the door? He wouldn’t have wanted me to go.

There will be a hell of a lot more in the October issue. I’m getting my copy for sure!

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Tameka Foster has denied all the rumors as to why her and Usher canceled their wedding, which was supposed to take place on July 28th. Tameka is really doing some damage control huh? Better keep that game tight or it’s your ass Tameka! She tells People:

“No one knows why we canceled the wedding, but I can tell you that all of the reasons that everyone is speculating and writing about are completely untrue.”

The 37-year-old also denied reports she was rushed to hospital after going into premature labor when the nuptials were shelved.

She told People magazine: “We had a scare. But, I am fine and the baby is fine.”

The ceremony was due to take place at record executive L.A. Reid’s Hamptons estate but was called off just two hours before proceedings were due to begin.

No official reason for the cancellation was given to the 100 wedding guests, which included Beyonce Knowles and her lover Jay-Z, Janet Jackson, and Ashanti.

Wow! Then if it isn’t true WHY would someone cancel their wedding??? I’m just saying. Your mom not being there is pretty big. Or maybe Chilli busted up into the piece butt naked singing “Red Light Special” to Usher as he waited????? Highly unlikely but OH so funny!

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The NY Daily News’ Rush & Molloy are reporting that Diddy had a fine time with two groupies hotties in the Hamptons last night. This comes just one day after it was reported that Diddy and Kim Porter were broken up.

Apparently Bucky O’Hare Diddy showed up to an event he was supposed to host at 2:15 am and only stayed an hour playing a low profile. When it was time to leave, he had his bodyguards rustle up two groupie broads into one of the SUVs he went to the party in and took off.

Damn Diddy don’t feel so bad!! Life isn’t over! Poor guy! He’s so shaken up over Kim Porter dumping him.

Maybe Diddy’s long-time female cuckold ex-girlfriend Kim Porter saw my scathing post about her lacking self-respect or dignity after I posted pics of Diddy and Cassie chilling cozily at a party in the Hamptons, because she dumped his ass.

The NY Post reports that it could have something to do with Sienna Miller:

The friendship between Combs and Miller was rekindled last weekend when he went to London to perform in the Princess Diana Memorial Concert at Wembley Arena.

According to Britain’s Daily Mirror, Combs went to the concert after-party at a club called Paper, but “didn’t look too happy to be there . . . until [Miller] arrived . . . For seemingly the first time all night, he started to enjoy himself . . . he ordered six burly bouncers to form a ring around the couple. And one unlucky reveler who accidentally strayed too close to the pair at Paper . . . was manhandled out of the way by their heavies.”

Combs and Miller were so engrossed in each other, they “failed to notice staff accidentally smash several champagne flutes at the table,” the London paper said.

Well I hope it’s true, as Diddy’s camp denies it. She’s no looker but God Almighty ANY MAN is better looking than Diddy.

(Photo courtesy of People)

People.com reported that a rep for Mel B. has confirmed Eddie Murphy to be the father of their 2 month old daughter Angel Iris.

The results of the DNA test, which Murphy took on June 11, were received by Brown on Thursday afternoon, says rep Liza Anderson.

“He’s the baby’s father, it’s official,” says a source close to Brown. “The baby is undoubtedly, 110 percent his.”

Of Brown, the source said, “There was no doubt in people’s minds anyways, least of all hers. It wasn’t a surprise to her. She knew all along.”

Murphy’s rep declined to comment.

He knew that was his baby he just didn’t feel like being dragged to Toys ‘R’ Us to get any damned toys with her. Hollywood is indeed ghetto. Maury Povich could’ve done this 2 months ago.

After Britney’s mom Lynne Spears cancelled her appearance this week on ABC’s The View, more reports surfaced about Lynne’s rift with her daughter Sh!tney. One interesting report is that Britney was pissed when Lynne and Shar Jackson, K-Fed’s estranged baby mama, went out to dinner after chatting it up at the finale for Dancing With The Stars. Rumor is Britney didn’t like two children around Shar.

According to a report from In Touch Weekly, the pop star - who had a falling out with her mom, Lynne, after feeling she had been forced to go to rehab - won’t be happy when she finds out that Lynne, 52, and little sis, Jaime Lynn, 16, spent time with her soon-to-be ex-husband, Kevin Federline’s former girlfriend, Shar Jackson, at the Dancing With the Stars finale in LA on May 22.

Now wonder Brit is miffed. “They were hanging out and chatting about the kids,” says an insider. “ They got along really well and went to a restaurant for dinner after the show.” Britney didn’t like Shar, 30, hanging out with her kids - Sean Preston, 20 months, and Jayden, 8 months - when Shar would see Kevin, but the insider says this will hit Britney even harder.

She needs to get over it. And if I recall correctly she was posted all over People magazine cheesing, like an old-fashioned chickenhead, with Shar’s kids a few years back. B!tch please………

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Rumors have been swirling around the internet that Skinny Minnie Nicole Richie may be pregnant. She’s reportedly started to put on some weight and pictures were taken of her outside of a reproductive clinic. A source is telling the tabloids that she’s trying to get healthy now that she’s pregnant. Well I know for a FACT you have to be healthy PRIOR to having a baby for it to live. So she’s already screwed in that regard. But at least the vomiting will be like second nature to her!

A source told Life and Style Weekly magazine: “Nicole recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, which confirmed she is pregnant.”

Last Wednesday (05.30.07) - just days after her alcohol-fueled Memorial Day barbecue - Nicole was photographed outside a reproductive clinic.

She is said to be going on a special diet for the sake of her unborn child.

An insider said: “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.”

She’s reportedly still with Joel Madden from Good Charlotte. That’s weird because I heard they broke up. Whatever. I’m just mad at whoever knocked her up. At her weight she’d die in childbirth because the baby broke her in half. Ugh..I could go on and on but I won’t.
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