Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

By now we have all read about Usher and Tameka Foster’s wedding being canceled for undisclosed reasons and that Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds are indeed engaged. I’m not giving it the time of day. Everyone else has the info so check them out and I don’t care about Eddie Murphy lol. As for Usher, that’s some juicy sh*t but until more details come out, I’m going to chill on it.

I respect her talent and I thank her for the attention she has brought to Barbados, but believe you me, if God didn’t give us a Rihanna, he would have given us someone else. So don’t ever for a second get to thinking you are irreplaceable, Rihanna.

Quote by Tamara Nurse of Barbados’ The Nation Newspaper. Click here for more criticism

Being half Bajan myself, (Barbadian? What do Americans call it?? lol) I have no love for that big head broad so I’m not surprised she isn’t representing. Hell if this blog ever got famous, I’d be swathed in a Bajan flag, a Jamaican flag, a Panamanian flag, a mix of all three, an American/Panamanian half flag, a Space Cadet flag, you name it lol. Rihanna better learn some humility. Because after the American public is done with you, you get sent back to the islands. Ask Billy Ocean……

And her “run” on the top 10 UK charts is OVER. Timbaland and Keri Hilson destroyed her.

This is Red Cafe on the set of yet another n*ggarifficinane rap video. There’s something about the way he wears his hat that makes me want to do a roundhouse kick to his face.

Been awhile since I gave some shine to Weng-Weng. Weng Weng is my people. REAL damned TALK. Check out the way he slays those suckers in the end with the sword. The pause as he lets the last dude marinate in his DEATH…..inspires me. LOL in many ways Weng Weng is like my blog. Small and diminutive but don’t sleep on it or it will slay you with a cyber katana sword!!! HAAAA-YAH!!!!!

Sorry I didn’t post much today y’all. Mad drama with this move and turns out we can’t even move. Anyway if you don’t see much from me check out the familia on the blogroll. My faves are: Fly+Intellect, Noticias Y Chismes, Kate Blogsworth, Leave Um Alohan, StraightOuttaNYC, Sandra Rose, The SKIRKLE!!!, Snarky Black Chicks!, Dirty Whore, Mia’s Meddlings, Babes, Bling and Booze, the kinfolk at A Hot Mess, Sideyein, Scooped Like Ice Cream, The Fury and Drew Reports.

I’m still looking for some cool stuff to write about

Sometimes I’ll run across certain things, usually in the paper, because I read the paper more so than the Web. There’s one or two sites that I can go to. But if I go on the Internet and try to see what people are saying, I’ll probably want to crawl under a rock. (Laughs.) Because I’m still human and certain things, it just hurts, so I try not to read the Internet too much.

Girl stop! You better shake those haters off with your simple minded ass. If I was rich like her and people talked sh*t the paparazzi would be well acquainted with pictures of my buttcrack. Why? Because I’d always make sure they take a picture of me in a position where haters can kiss my ass.

(spotted at Beyonce Lopez

(Credit to Dlisted
If I don’t get this right here at my baby shower, not a damned soul will be eating my catered Chicken fried rice and potstickers. Then they can all get the f*ck out. Unfortunately there is a recall because the little ones could possibly choke on the crystals (duh!). Pssssh……it’s good for them.

Like SURE the crystals could come off but I am WAY too artificial to care!!!! Besides I need to add it to the collection of Coach, Louis Vuitton, and Bape (I got me some Bapes! lol) pacifiers and vomit rags I’m buying.

Get on MY level Nicole! Naomi! Christina! All y’all hoes….
*end sarcasm*

Please believe I am coming for a couple of y’all after this lol! I would get you Trouble but you’ve been tagged already lol. So here I go!

1)I was a Russian linguist in the U.S. Army from the time I was 17 until I turned 22 in 2004. I’m a Russian nerd and although I need practice if I was dropped unceremoniously in Russia I could survive long enough to hitch a boat to China…..or live in a whorehouse lol.

2)I’m in the process of a divorce. It’s my fault. I was a cheating ass bastard. He’s still a good guy. Folks don’t cheat on ANYONE. Let them know you want to move on first, then get going.

3)I’m actually a huge fan of other gossip blogs. I really enjoy reading everyone’s stuff so I don’t do it just to network. I may not get around all the time but I try to get there at least once a week.

4)I’m a Transformers/Thundercats/He-Man/She-ra/Voltron/AstroBoy/Mazinger/Dartanias/G.I.JOE FANATIC. Some people stan for Star Trek and Star Wars. I stan for all of these. I cry when anything bad happens to Optimus Prime and his death scene in the ORIGINAL movie breaks my heart every time.

5)I was briefly interested in being bi but then I said f*ck it because I like being slightly self-righteous so I couldn’t get past it. Besides I like the way men taste and feel and smell, especially their little rough hands and beards to be down with a chick for long lol. I call this the “Girls Gone Wild” factor. Some folks get it for a few weeks like me, others get it for a few years then get right. Umm….I do find lesbodian porn pretty cool though lol. But then again I like all porn.

6)I’m a book addict. My drug is reading. I read a lot. I read so much in fact that I have far too many boxes dedicated to books in this move (I’m moving to a new place this weekend). Whatever you need to know, if I don’t know it, I can direct you or give you the foundation to find it. I became a bookworm when it was PAINFULLY evident that I was going to be picked on by self-hating black kids and judgmental and lemming mentality white kids. Books were the only things that didn’t make me feel bad. Besides, I’m an escapist.

7)I know my way around boxing. I’ve been sparring since I was 16 in preparation to beating up some girls who were picking on me. Thank God I have not had to use that skill yet. I’ve got mouth guards, boxing gloves, wraps, before I got pregnant me and my boyfriend (aka AWG in comments) would beat the stuffing out of each other (we had head protection). He’s not bad for a white guy. He’s the arachnid to my Athena in it though lol. I would say that my fighting style is very destructive. It would be (if unhinged) a cross between an asswhooopin’ from a rabid Irish soccer hooligan, a wrestler and a cannibal.

8)I’m very proud of my blackness. So much so that if I die, I want to come back Black. But even prouder than being black, (and it’s okay if you’re proud to be white, latino, asian lol as long as it’s not racist :D) I’m proud to be a Panamanian. Happiness is being of Panamanian/Jamaican/Bajan (like Rihanna) descent. So I demand excellence from my people. I do not scoff at interracial relationships however. Why should I? The myth that white men aren’t packing is just that: a myth. AND HOW!!! I’ve been proven wrong more than once I do find men of various races to be delectable so I only discrimante NOW because I’ve got my baby.

That’s it! Oh and my mother is a French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet lol. I kid! 10 points to whoever knows where I got that from!

It’s been no secret that with ringtones and filesharing sites like Limewire (that are mostly still free to get music from), an already VAPID music industry, especially in the R&B and Hip-Hop genre, is feeling the pain. Well, the numbers speak for themselves. You know it’s something when Justin Timberlake STILL outsells your ass and his album dropped LAST year.

Despite sliding two spots to No. 3, the “King of the South” T.I. continues to knock ‘em out the park selling 93,500 copies in his third week. So far, T.I. Vs. T.I.P has sold total of 737,700 discs.

Fergie moves two steps up the ladder to No. 6. According to Nielsen SoundScan, The Dutchess scanned 49,500 discs this week. The album’s tally stands at 2,278,100.

Two spots away is Amy Winehouse at No. 8. Back to Black continues to hang tough as it shelves off 45,300 discs this week, bringing the album’s total to 910,300.

Rihanna drives two slots up to No. 16. Good Girl Gone Bad reels in 34,500 units this week. After seven weeks, the album has sold a total of 454,600 copies.

Slipping two spots to No. 18 is T-Pain. 32,700 copies of the crooner’s sophomore effort, Epiphany, were purchased this week. So far, the album has sold 472,200 copies after spending seven weeks on the Charts.

Posted at No. 25 is R. Kelly. Kells’ 8th solo album Double Up rounds up its seven day cycle with 22,300 discs sold. After eight weeks, Kells has sold 756,600 CDs.

Heavy on the grind at No. 27 is Fabolous. From Nothin’ to Somethin’ cashes out 21,900 albums this week, bringing the record’s total sales to 341,300.

Ne-Yo trips four spots to No. 32. Because Of You reins in 20,900 discs this week. After 12 weeks, the album has sold 681,200 copies.

The heightening buzz of his single, “The Way I Are,” helps Timbaland move four spots to No. 33. Shock Value racks up 20,400 copies this week, pushing the album’s tally to 470,600 in it’s 16th week.

Kelly Rowland continues to struggle as she plunges twenty six spots to No. 39 . Thus far, Ms. Kelly has sold 140,070 copies with 16,800 representing the album’s seven day total.

Justin Timberlake continues to show off his dominance as FutureSex/Love Sounds sells 18,500 copies in 45th week. Sitting at No. 37, the album has sold a total of 3,430,100 copies.

Akon continues to stay afloat at No. 43. Konvicted bags up 15,200 copies this week , bringing the album’s total sales to 2,542,900.

Shop Boyz tumbles six slots to No. 48. Rockstar Mentality garners 13,900 in sales this week. To date, the album has sold 134,500 copies.

Entering the charts at No. 49 is Kansas based rapper Tech N9ne with his latest album, Misery Love Kompany. The set, which features Yukmouth, Kutt Calhoun and Big Scoob, nets 13,500 copies.

Robin Thicke slips four seats to No. 54. Evolution of Robin Thicke rings out 12,422 discs this week, pushing the album’s total sales to 1,305,100.

Also skidding four spots is Beyonce to No. 58. B’Day moves 11,700 copies this week. So far, the album has sold 2,806,800 copies.

Corrine Bailey Rae falls eight spots to No. 63. Her self titled album snatches up 10,800 copies this week. The album’s tally stands at 1,631,000.

A step below at No. 64 is Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Strength & Loyalty notches 10,800 units this week , pushing the albums total sales to 351,490.

Credit goes to Sohh.com for the stats!!

Some bloggers are keen to stay incognito for whatever reason, others are not. But I think MOST bloggers are okay to concentrate on skewering, lambasting and debasing haughty, uptight celebrities!!! I know I am! BUT some bloggers, okay just one blogger, Perez Hilton, is about putting his face on everything. But why? He knows he’s not fire. He looks like he smells like feet and pork sausage. He knows this. So why are they giving him a cover with Beth Ditto??????? Mind you, I have no issue with Beth’s weight. I do have an issue with the fact that her face is not on point. So you put her and Perez together…..you’ve just induced vomit in people and nightmares in children. Stay your ass behind the screen!!!