Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

British pop tart Lily Allen had this to say about “personal hygiene” while out on the town with newyorkmag.com.
“Here they get their [hoo-has] waxed. I get a strip, a runway strip. I don’t think I could get it done in England. They stare at it. They spend ages doing it. It’s like, ‘Get it over and f-ing done with!’”
(Spotted at Us magazine)

Look we all knew these broads couldn’t sing to begin with. But I’m surprised that it’s so bad that basically the computer is singing for them. Sheesh! Apparently for their rumored upcoming tour they’ll have pre-recorded, perfected studio tracks of the songs they are performing. If one of them should crack like a pre-pubescent boy, then the computer will automatically shut out their actual voice and use the track. I’m thinking that Rihanna, Kelly Rowland, Ciara, Janet Jackson and Britney Spears need to get their accountant on the ball pronto. Especially you Kelly! That performance last night was so crappy I had to turn my volume up.

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Click Here To Read. This topic is about the reality of society’s standard of beauty……and why being too “nappy” not sexy but to “mumbutu.”

Two couples that were rumored to be on the rocks most recently seem to be doing just fine. Again it seems that those rumors of a breakup between Ashanti and Nelly are just that rumors. Another picture of the couple having a good time. Janet is still being dragged along by her good luck leprechaun I see. “You can’t have me lucky charms!”

There were some people at the BET Awards that didn’t quite fit the already tacky landscape. Let’s see who our oddities are:

I’m not quite sure what this hot ass mess is there. Massieka Holness looked like she was on her way to a barbecue but ended up making a U-turn into the BET Awards. The outfit is NOT a good look. I did some google research and according to her Actor’s page she’s been in one crappy video (which I will post) and Heart & Soul. I better start making some videos so next year I can go to Black Embarrassment Television’s awards.

The new male R&B group TGT (acronym Tyrese, Ginuwine and Tank) made an appearance. Tyrese is the only person who looks fine in this picture. Tank looks like he was picked up direct from some magic act in Vegas and Ginuwine looks like he was picked up from a used vacuum cleaner dealership.

Mel B. be damned! Eddie Murphy left this for that Spice hoochie??? Damned shame. She looks whorish but hey….she’s on her “make him jealous” thing.

Here is the video Massieka Holness is in. And this will get you to awards???? I guess it will at the BET awards.

I knew my little queens wouldn’t let me down! There are so many degrees of FUG here I couldn’t pick. I do know this much: somebody’s writing a book in a few years about having to wear these queer ass outfits. Just watch!

Other gossip sites speculated that this relationship was over BUT apparently the picture says otherwise. Nelly and Ashanti sat together at the BET Awards tonight. This is certainly not the behavior of a couple that allegedly recently split.

After seeing Beyonce in this getup it sure seemed that she was channeling Whitney Houston in “Queen Of The Night” from “The Bodyguard.” You be the judge.

Jesus there are NO words for Vivica Fox. Back in the day she was so pretty but she let Hollyweird get to her self-esteem and now look at her. She looks like somebody’s grandmother all dolled up for a dance at the bingo hall. She looks like she’s trying to score some dick from some old guy named Rufus at the Senior Center’s “Blast To The Past” dance. See ladies! Self-esteem good! Vanity bad!

Solange showed up to the BET Awards looking extra “special.” If her sister’s dress was supposed to be “chastity”, this dress is “whore.” Doesn’t she just look like she does shit to piss of her parents?

I had to put this in here because this is Big Shan from Doggy’s Angels. Snoop Dogg tried to form a rap female super group back in the early nineties and failed horribly they sucked. Here she is a decade later. It’s obvious she is only there because she is his weed holder.

Rev. Al Simpleton Sharpton brought his hooker…oh wait. Sorry! That’s rapper Eve in a really crappy blonde wig and a dress special ordered out of Frederick’s Of Hollywood (the lingerie department). HOT ASS MESS!