Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

ANGIE!!! Where have you been? I haven’t seen her since VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club. Good to see that she has kept some of the weight off. I need her to release another album for me though…..

Assface Yung Joc and Amerie posed in all their D-listed glory. Ah! Non-talent love!

Who invited the Cheetah Girls???

Chudney Ross is such a cute person but God…..her facial expression and smile is just HARD to look at. It seems like it HURTS!

The lovely Ms. Erykah Badu in all her glory. She can do no wrong…

ATL and Chitlin Circuit actress Lauren London was there to get some free stuff.

The zestfully irritating Pretty Ricky boys were there. There are so many things wrong with this picture I won’t even waste the time. I hate the motherfuckers.

The Shop Boyz showed up this year. The clock is ticking bitches!!! 15 minutes will be up in NO time and you will not be there next year.

Sean Kingston has a cute little song out on the radio. They are KILLING it in Seattle. That’s my Jamaican cousin and all but I must say that I hope his swag bag included some Pro-Activ in it. I’m just saying…..

Former R&B sensation Craig David got caught up with the wrong opportunist gold-digger model when he two-timed British model Karina Holmes. According to the skank she met David on Myspace after he requested her as a friend and they soon started talking. It wasn’t long before she dropped her draws for the singer. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only “model” he was sticking it to.

“I whispered to him that he was a steam engine in bed,” said Karina. But his motor-mouth really got on her nerves.

“He talked too much and was always asking me if I was OK, if he was doing the right thing. It broke the whole mood.”

Karina found out about her lover’s other women after a chance meeting in a club. She said: “I mentioned Craig to a model I was partying with and she said she had been dating him for two months. He’d approached her on MySpace.”

She later found out from other model pals that Craig’s two-timing didn’t stop there. She said: “I got phone calls from so many girls saying that Craig had messaged them.

“He can turn on the charm, but he’s just a dirty dog at the end of the day.”

Wow! Meeting chics on Myspace? They can’t be trusted. They might rob you. Well shit if that’s the case I’m about ready to hit up his Myspace and get my golddigger game on. T-Pain, you’re next. You sexy non-singing ass you. I’ll show you chics how to rob these cats. I’m going to have to get my best blonde wig on, nail ‘em and then take their wallets. How YOU doin? Let me buy YOU a “drank” with some roofies in it.

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Whore To The Stars Paris Hilton was released from the klink earlier this morning. The giddy asshole went right into her mother’s arms who was waiting for her. She was all smiles. I’m mad as hell because she was almost forgotten. And now she’s out the b*tch is back in the spotlight. Shame on CNN for interviewing her. She can kick boulders for all I care. I do know who is happy! All the rappers and skanky-ass men that she was nailing are overjoyed their favorite tip drill is out!

The NY Daily News reported that Nas was spotted going to Teddy’s in Hollywood solo. Kelis was nowhere to be spotted. Why am I not surprised? I figured this relationship was an ill-ass pairing from jump. And if the rumors are true about her being sexually insatiable and promiscuous to the point of threesomes and bisexual trysts with Nas looking on, the clock is damned sure ticking on this couple. Adventurous or not, your relationship is a wrap when you need to call in the “artillery” to help you out.

I don’t know how many of you cats 20 years and older remember The Richard Bey Show. This show was bananas. It made Jerry Springer’s guests look like Rhodes Scholars. Like in the next clip I’m showing you. I’m dying at homegirl in the black outfit. Fashion in that decade was basically from the Fuck Effort line.

Just real quick, I wanted to let it be known that my thoughts and prayers are with the remaining family members of Chris Benoit’s family. I’m a huge wrestling fan, been a fan since I was 4 years old so this came as a shock. Chris Benoit, his wife and 7 year old child were found dead in their Atlanta home today. Police are investigating as a possible double homicide and suicide.

I always rooted for him because he was this short, stubby guy but he was strong and he was vicious in the ring. I looked up to that. He was one of my favorite wrestlers and when him, Arn Anderson, Ric Flair and Dean Malenko were the Four Horsemen I would go wild every time they came out to the ring. I don’t know what would possess a man to kill his family then himself. I can’t respect that, but I’m not God so rest in peace regardless. A damned shame………