Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

I haven’t done a “Before They Were Fug” in a while but I felt like doing it what with all this Shar Jackson, Britney Spears and K-Fed drama. So I’m taking it back to when she first hit it big in the music industry with “Baby One More Time.” I hated this song at first, but KUBE 93 FM played this song to death and it grew on me. Talking about some “My loneliness is killing me…” thinking about my whack ass high school pieces of ass/dick dealers boyfriends stressing me out. Hell yeah I wanted to be “hit” one more time! I only had a small window before my mom got home…..

One of the greatest rap groups of all time, with nine of the illest and wittiest MCs, Wu-Tang Clan, has signed with Bodog Music (Yup that Bodog from Bodog.net). The group will release “The 8 Diagrams” in Germany on September 7th. The UK release date is September 10th. The album will also be released to the rest of Europe on the same date as the UK. This will be their first studio album as a group in six years. I am so excited because I have been a fan of the Wu since they FIRST came out with “C.R.E.A.M” back in the early nineties. No joke those cats were so cool, I wanted to be down and I was all of 12 years old. I still STAN (go fanatic) but I am saddened that a U.S. date hasn’t been announced. It’s messed up that our musical landscape is so full of crap that these rappers have to go straight to Europe first. But the cats in Europe never gave up on them so I can’t complain. I will pay extra to get that joint imported!

The album contains new tracks by the eight remaining original members, as well as unreleased vocals by the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard, which were recorded during sessions for the group’s first album. There will also be a tribute song to ODB called “Life Changes.”

The RZA himself has called upon his Wu-Tang brothers to reunite and show the real unity and raw force of hip-hop. How can hip-hop be dead if Wu-Tang is Forever?
“This is really what Bodog Music is all about: Hip-hop at its highest,” says Bodog founder Calvin Ayre, who along with Wu-Tang’s international representative Eva Ries, has closed a deal that will advertise the Wu-Tang brand and turn Bodog Music into an ambitious hip-hop label. “With the Wu-Tang Clan being the widely respected and revered group that they are, and Bodog’s international music distribution expertise, the potential of this relationship in unlimited. Wu-Tang Clan still ain’t nothing to f#@k with.”

Ayre’s sentiments are echoed by Wu-Tang producer RZA who says, “The RZA himself has called upon his Wu-Tang brothers to reunite and show the real unity and raw force of hip-hop. How can hip-hop be dead if Wu-Tang is Forever?”

Bodog Music’s marketing competence will be a big lift to Wu-Tang in Europe, as the record label signed the group exclusively for European releases, with distribution via Pinnacle in the UK and EDEL for the rest of the continent.

I see Calvin Ayre is doing it REAL big. They’ll be on tour with another great group, Rage Against The Machine and Public Enemy. I’m sorry. I have to go now. My soul was so overjoyed, I literally watched it fly out my body surrounded by fairies and cherubs to the ceiling and back down.

Source

(Photo from Allhiphop.com)
Well it appears as though Teddy Penderjackass….I mean Teddy Penderass aka T-Pain has knocked Rihanna out the top spot (she didn’t hold it very long in the US did she?) and has taken the number one spot with his newest opus “Epiphany.” Oh Joy!

– Konvict/Jive Records recording artist T- Pain, lands at the #1 spot on Billboard’s Top 200 and R&B Album charts with his sophomore debut Epiphany. The hit single “Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin’),” continues to top the R&B/Hip-Hop and airplay charts.

“Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin’)” recently beat out artists such as Maroon 5, Avril Lavigne, Timbaland, and Ne-Yo to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart as the #1 single in the country. On four separate Billboard charts the single has been firmly set at the #1 position for several weeks: #1 Hot 100 Airplay; #1 Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs; #1 Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay; #1 Rhythmic Top 40, and for seven consecutive weeks T-Pain was the #1 selling ringtone on the Billboard Hot Ringmasters chart.

See I really appreciate what he is trying to do. I really do. I mean if it wasn’t for him selling these CDs what would our kids use as cup holders when they get older? I’m sure this black Teddy Ruxpin looking cat will be at the strip club asking strippers to nuzzle his man breasts. Ack! I just threw up in my mouth……….

Source

That wicked Beyonce! I am sure Tina Knowles is behind this! Beyonce probably isn’t even human, she’s a robot created by Tina Knowles once she found out she was barren. Anyway, Beyonce continued on her “I am too damned old and tired for this sh!t” tour and her next stop was snubbing a fan who painted a portrait of her. It took the fan 80 hours to complete the painting.

“I travelled 100 miles to London and waited outside her hotel for five hours. … When she came out I showed her my painting and said, ‘Beyonce, will you sign my painting?’ She said, ‘No, sorry,’ and walked away,” the New York Daily News quoted him, as saying.

“I was devastated, as the painting took me over 80 hours to paint and I had put my whole heart and soul into it. I was shocked that she wouldn’t take two seconds of her time to sign her name on it,” he added.

Well to play devil’s advocate it probably looked nothing like her. Maybe it looked like this?

Oh well he should take his vengeance by making another portrait. Next time he should paint Rihanna and Jay-Z doing the two-toed crab dangle butt naked. Now THAT will get her attention!

Source

And the jokes just KEEP coming at Paris Hilton’s expense! I’m happy this site is back up because now people can see what a real blowhard ass bitch she is and a racist to boot. Parisexposed.com, a treasure trove of embarrassing pictures to include a photo of what appears to be herpes medication, was shut down earlier this year due to a court injunction citing violation of privacy. Well now it’s back up and you can have at it!

The site, parisexposed.com, is a treasure trove of her most embarrassing personal items, including topless lesbian photos, love letters, medical records and celeb phone numbers. Among the video clips is a naked Paris being filmed in her bubble bath by Joe Francis, the “Girls Gone Wild” creator who’s also behind bars, plus prescriptions in her name for the painkiller Hydrocodone and the post-party sleep aid Ambien. The cache was placed in a storage locker when Paris moved from one L.A. mansion to another in 2004, The Post’s Marianne Garvey reports. When she failed to pay a measly $208 storage bill, the goods were sold to an unnamed buyer and then obtained by Persa last September. Hilton’s lawyers and reps for the Web site could not be reached yesterday.

Before they shut that joint down again I am going and printing every page for future generations. Nobody’s going to forget what a skank she is on MY watch! Damn that….

Apparently Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) loves her man and the way he tears her back out David Beckham so much she’d live in the projects with him! She tells OK! Magazine:

I long for us to be living together all the time.

“Sometimes I see a couple who’ve just finished work, sitting in their car, and she’s got a Barclay’s bank badge on and he’s got his Dixon’s badge on, and they’re going home for dinner.

“Sometimes that looks nice to me, but we all want something we don’t have.”

She added, “I can’t do without love. I would rather live in a council flat with David than in Beckingham Palace without him.”

WOW! David must be laying that pipe like a boss huh? For her to say she, of all people, would move to the projects is an indicator that he DOES have the magic stick. Well, if I married David Beckham I’d follow him into a dark alley in Baghdad blindfolded, I shit you not! I’d move to Compton with some Crips on one side and some Bloods on the other side for neighbors.

You do know he’s probably giving “soccer lessons” to underprivileged girls. Underprivileged as suffering a severe dick drought….

Source