Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Paris Hilton was let out of jail today after just THREE days in the klink. The story is developing, as most are still trying to figure out why she was released. Her sentence was already cut short to 23 days from the original 45 days she was supposed to serve. My my my! I’m blown away.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department called a hastily scheduled news conference early Thursday morning outside the Century Regional Detention Facility to answer reporters’ questions about the famous inmate.

The sheriff’s department inmate locator Web site did not have any information, still saying early Thursday that her projected release is June 26.

Hilton checked into the facility Sunday night to begin serving a more than three-week sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

This is funny because this is coming from the notorious LA judicial system which has had a not so stellar reputation for racism and corruption. It must pay to have your daddy and mommy be sh!tty, rich parents. NOT only will they not let you take responsibility for your actions, they’ll probably threaten someone or bribe them to get you out. I must say that this AMNESTY that the Sheriff’s Department is granting is really nice of them, as we can expect OTHERS with her issues pertaining to being incarcerated will surely be getting out today too RIGHT? If not they should be charged with corruption and lechery.

She may be out early but it doesn’t change the fact that this dimwit is feeble, weak-minded, lazy and over-privileged. She’ll never learn and her existence only serves as filler. Nothing more.

**Update: Paris was released due to a “medical condition.” At first reports were that it was a rash, but in reports released to TMZ, it was all psychological. She feared she was having a nervous breakdown. So what b!tch??? I had a nervous breakdown every day I hit Seattle traffic on I-5. Anyway, a gaggled of people are pissed as all hell to include Sheriff’s union, the judge wants no part of it, and wow….it’s some drama! Check out TMZ for more!

Rapper The Game plead not guilty today to three felony counts stemming from an incident on February 24th in which he threatened to shoot a man after punching him. Wow! That must have been one hell of a pickup basketball game huh? Um, I guess basketball will do that to you.

The 27-year-old defendant, whose real name is Jayceon Terrell Taylor, appeared in a Los Angeles courtroom one day before his scheduled arraignment on charges that he made a criminal threat, possessed a firearm in a school zone and exhibited a firearm in the presence of an officer.

He remains free on $50,000 bail, with his next court date scheduled for June 27.

I can certainly empathize with Game. I can. It’s a little known secret, but I was playing this really intense game of kickball and some guy called my kick out of bounds. I ran to my car and I threatened him with an ice pick I hid in a tampon applicator that was inside my purse. I went to jail but only served like 2 days because I had this rash……

I thought it was hard to follow up with the genius of the 70s and “Death By Penis” but this one, while not as WEIRD, is just as funny. They talk about how hard it is to be a dick (no pun intended) but do they know how hard it is for a va-jay-jay???? Poked, stabbed, pushed, smashed! Those things could kill you!!

You just can’t stop 50 Cent’s hustle, can you? 50 Cent will use an increasingly more popular avenue to promote his new album “Curtis” that’s scheduled to drop in September. What better way than to use Zwinky? (Does ANYONE even use Zwinky?)

“It’s the equivalent of sending a marketing team to a new country where there is a new economy,” said Chris “Broadway” Romero, creative director of digital media for 50 Cent.

The rapper’s virtual store will allow Zwinky members to dress up characters in 50 Cent gear for free and provide a chance to listen to his next album “Curtis,” due in September.

I guess that answers my question. I guess maybe I need to move forward with my plan to create a virtual world called “Stick Figures” where everybody is a stick figure. Or maybe open my rent-em-spoons (I loved “Martin”) store and rent space on the spoons…*thinking*…to like rappers and stuff. Be right back!

Source

R. Kelly’s new album “Double Up” is number one on the charts. Congratulations to R. Kelly on that. Some of the reviews:

NY Post “… Kelly’s not only smooth enough for the ladies, but rough enough for the fellas …”

The Philadelphia Inquirer “The album provides plenty of examples of the real reason that Kelly’s career continues to thrive … he keeps serving up the hot jams.”

He’s very eccentric and brash and just weird, not to mention those charges he’s facing, but the dude is consistent and stays busy. But that “Same Girl” song is whack….sorry!

“I’m trying to be the R&B Tupac,” he said. “I’m trying to make as many records as I can so when I’m out of this world, y’all can still have music from me nobody has heard yet.”

- Chris Brown to MTV

Oh Chris…..that’s presuming that you are still relevant. He’s got an excellent voice, but can we step up our lyrics just a little bit? Because this right here, from the song “Kiss Kiss” on his upcoming album:

‘She wants that lovey dovey/ That kiss, kiss/ In her mind, she fantasize about getting with me/ ‘Cause they hating on me/ They wanna dis, dis, but she’s fine, so fine/ And thick as can be.’

Is not going to help you get to your goal. Step that game up……

So I liked this layout but it’s a little too tight for me so I’m going to change it to something more oh I dunno….wide! So the layout, template, background whatever is going to change tomorrow night. Ok back to the news…..

At the Whitney Contemporaries Art Party there was the good:



(Pictured are Rosario Dawson, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Kate Bosworth)

Then you had the bad and the ugly….

Genevieve Jones’ outfit is wrong on SO many levels. The makeup didn’t help either. She looks like one the first lady of The California Raisins….

Chrisette Michele outside of the “Late Show With David Letterman” making her way in. She is so gorgeous! Love her look. And her voice is even better. Yet another great singer.

Nicole Richie was also at the Letterman show looking like two toothpicks on a stick. What’s new???

Caridee English was on hand for ESPN Magazine’s Summer Fun Party Hosted by Taye Diggs and Laila Ali in NYC. Her makeup makes her look dead. Inflect SOME color please!

Laila looked STUNNING! I really noticed how gorgeous she was on “Dancing With The Stars.” She doesn’t disappoint here.

Taye Diggs doing his best to look like an ass. Word of advice: THOSE HATS DO NOT FIT YOU. That is all…..

Kim Kardashian may be a groupie have a bad rep but she always looks good. Love this outfit and her body is banging. She was on hand for Caroline D’Amore’s Birthday Party in West Hollywood. And guess who else was invited:

Can someone please tell me who invited Leilene from “Flavor Of Love” and “Charm School?” I’m just asking. Who would’ve thought that making an ass of yourself on national television would get you into parties. Her shoes are whack.