Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Is the lying even NECESSARY Jordin? I mean it’s not like her singing is all that to begin with. We wouldn’t be shocked if she had a vocal coach or some help. See I knew Blake should’ve won. This chic is already putting us on front street. The 17 year old cash cow American Idol winner was asked if she ever had vocal training, which she denied. Well now her vocal coach, Melissa Black who was hired by Jordin’s grandmother and mother at $25/hour has popped up; admitting that Jordin was a pupil when she was 14 years old.
Not even at the top yet and she forgot where she came from? She needs to concentrate on putting out hits and doing what her handlers tell her to do, or she’ll join Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard in the pit of mediocrity.
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After reading this story about Lindsay’s ex-boyfriend, f_ck buddy, whatever the hell he was, Calum Best doing coke and messing with hookers and with Lindsay in rehab for coke and alcohol that these two are the white Bobby and Whitney, except for trashier! I just wonder where she finds these men. And the fact that he’s dubbed a “model” is suspect. He’s fugly. What exactly is he modeling? Brown paper bags over his face? Hell no. Rogaine needs to be in his very near future. George Costanza looking cat…

Calum, whose sometime lover Lindsay checked into rehab for the second time on Monday (05.28.07), has been filmed snorting cocaine and indulging in a variety of sex acts with the hookers.

After being confronted with the footage, the model told Britain’s The Sun newspaper: “I’ve been stupid. I regret all of it. Whether it’s drink, drugs or women, there comes a time when you think, ‘I shouldn’t be doing that.’”

“I am a young man and I like to indulge, but look where it has got me - I feel ashamed.”

The shocking video - which shows Calum preparing lines of cocaine before sharing them with the two prostitutes - was allegedly filmed after he returned from a romantic get-away with Lindsay in the Bahamas earlier this month.

Whatever! We all know if Linds would have been there she would’ve shanked him to lick it off the slut her damned self…

Amy Winehouse is so happy to be married to Blake Fielder-Civil that she wants to go above and beyond to show him how much she loves him: she’s putting his name on her poontang kitty. SEXY-SEXAY!!!! The couple were married back on May 18th in a secret ceremony and will be having another one in London for all her family. Boy she loves her some Blake huh? But she has so many tats, she’s probably getting it just to get it. It is cute though. I had a tattoo of my ex-boyfriend’s nickname “Stinky” right over my va-jay-jay too, but when we broke up it wasn’t as big of a hit with the dudes as I thought it would have been. I’m still trying to figure out why….
Photo spotted at Splash News
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See I knew something was wrong with T-Pain when I heard “Sprung.” I WANTED to like him when he did “I’m In Luv Wit A Stripper” because I figured he would fade to obscurity….but like an in-grown hair in the genital area, he is STILL there no matter HOW much you try to get rid of him. I misjudged his staying power. So while I am not surprised at the author of this quote, I am still wondering who the hell to assasinate for releasing this Krakenass dude on us.
T-Pain on Ray-J’s member: “…not many men can follow Ray J. The man got a huge meat.”
Doesn’t T-Pain remind you of this:

Quote spotted at SOHH

Nicole “Damned If I Eat” Richie is in “hot water” for some vapid remarks on her invitation to her bbq for the weekend.

“Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans, even though we have no…clue what Memorial Day really means!!…There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!”

Her rep says it was out of context. RIGHT!

LOL I’m still trying to figure WHAT BBQ they were talking about. If “BBQ” is code for licking popsicle sticks dipped in low-fat bbq sauce and an orgie of vomiting in a communal sink, I might be able to follow. These bitches know they weren’t going to eat a damned thing. I would love to go to the bbq and just be mean and fix a plate full of chicken, burgers, hot dogs, potato salad and pie and eat it all in front of them. It would drive those stick figure idiots nuts!! I think Nicole’s head would pop off.

Lil’ Cease on rumors of him being gay after a home video showed him stripping in a room full of men and one woman:

….They want to hear some gossip. Anybody that knows me, knows that I’m comfortable about my sexuality. I was just tryin’ to get some shit poppin’ off in there. All these rappers talk about having orgies. I’ve done that shit when I was 15-years-old. That’s all I was tryin’ to get started in the room. You’re never gonna hear or see the truth because people are only going to check for [what’s] negative. It comes with being in the industry. I know you’ll get the good with the bad, but at the end of the day, you’re interested. Ever since that Lil’ Kim shit [where Cease testified against Kim in her 2005 perjury trial], people are throwin’ my name under the bus and that’s fine, because I know what type of man I am.

And after looking at the video Cease….we do too.
If you missed the video, check it out here:

LMAO at them putting The Game’s face over his dick to censor it.
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