Seattle Slim Presents The Beat-niks: I See You Jackin’ Bitch…

Healthcare insurance hikes and now this??? Yup this makes the Seattle Screw for this week!

Puget Sound Energy ratepayers should expect a 13.2 percent increase in their monthly electricity bills triggered by a federal court ruling earlier this month.

That ruling by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals questioned the legality of Bonneville Power Administration payments to Puget Sound Energy (PSE) and other investor-owned Northwest utilities that collectively serve some 60 percent of the region.

Seattle Times

Poor Ashanti! I haven’t heard from her in so long! Some have even thrown in the towel on her singing career saying it’s a wrap. Now this happens to her! A New York couple used Ashanti’s name to buy cars and open a line of credit over $30,000. But it wasn’t just her. Check out more of the story here:

(May 22, 2007) — Grammy Award-winning star Ashanti hasn’t performed in Rochester since the 2002 MusicFest.
But her next appearance could be in a courtroom — testifying against a Henrietta couple charged with obtaining a fraudulent auto loan in her name.
Charles B. Curry Jr. and Shameika Drain Curry, both 28, of 23 Still Pond Way, Henrietta, are charged with committing identity theft, mail fraud and bank fraud against Ashanti and several other people — including actress Nia Long and Charles Curry’s father — to illegally purchase cars, obtain credit cards and write bogus checks.

A complaint filed in U.S. District Court by a U.S. postal inspector also alleges that the couple defrauded Chase Manhattan Bank of $45,000 by assuming the identity of an elderly Rochester woman to open a line of credit…..
If convicted, they face a maximum penalty of up to 30 years in prison and a $1 million fine, said Assistant U.S. Attorney Richard A. Resnick. To defraud Ashanti, a hip-hop artist whose MusicFest appearance helped set an attendance record, the couple allegedly ordered a replacement driver’s license in her name from the state Department of Motor Vehicles in August 2006 and claimed she had moved from Nassau County to Wilkins Street in Rochester, the complaint alleged.

I feel for her. How they got this far is impressive. They were just calling for these celebs and getting all they needed? Gives new meaning to “ask and ye shall receive” for real. I should call and say I’m Donald Trump’s toupee holder and that I need his social and driver’s license number to buy a new toupee from Lacefrontwigs.com, open a line of credit, then go straight to Forever 21 to ball ’til I fall! Prada be damned!

Damned shame………Source

Doesn’t it look like it anyway? It really looks like he’s thinking to himself:
“If someone doesn’t get her away from me, I’m going to knock her the f_ck out. Mel B. come get ya girl before I cuss….”
Thanks Dlisted

R. Kelly appeared in court today. Yay that’s great! It’s been so long I think some folks forgot that he even had a sex tape. How old is the chic now? 50 years old?

R. Kelly arrived in a Chicago court on Friday for a status hearing in a child pornography case. Kelly was charged five years ago with 14 counts of child pornography for allegedly videotaping himself engaging in sex acts with an underage girl. The Grammy-winning performer has pled not guilty to all counts. Jury selection begins in July.

Can you also charge him for wearing those damned masks over his eyes looking like a Black Zorro? Thanks!
Source

Kelly Rowland is under the impression that there’s a possibility that Beyonce will let Destiny’s Child reunite one day. Here’s what she told Teenmusic.com:

The singer insists she is still close to Beyonce Knowles and Michelle Williams and hints the girls will perform again in the future.

She says, “We listen to each other’s songs and offer constructive criticism.

“We went our separate ways because we’re getting older and have different personal goals.”

“But we might get back together one day. For now, we’re giving each other space.”

In layman’s terms: “We’re letting Beyonce get her shine on whilst we starve and wither in mediocrity during the runs on the chitlin circuit.” Now they know how Solange feels…..

So last winter when I was stuck at work with no holiday time, I trawled the internet looking for gossip and came across several sites like TMZ, Crunk and Disorderly, Bossip, and Perez Hilton. I was an avid fan of all of them and I liked Hilton’s “graffiti” on the pictures of famous celebs. But right about the time that Isaiah Washington was spouting off at the mouth, I noticed that Perez was SUPER pissed at the comments Isaiah made about gays. Fair enough. But when his “muse” Paris Hilton made very incendiary comments about Blacks, Japanese, Jews (basically everybody under the sun who wasn’t White), Perez was very quiet. Where were the calls for her extermination? I was turned off because it appeared that he sold-out and he was less fair and balanced than Fox News (and that’s hard to do). So I stopped reading; feeling he was corrupt. So I found myself on his blog last night, just to see what was going on with Britney Spears ,because that’s one cat he stays on top of. Instead I found this post about Fantasia and Oprah and was disgusted. The comments by Perez Hilton’s loyal “readers” are not a surprise. Most readers know what goes on at his site and he has lost some readership because of it. It surely isn’t enough for him to hang it up just yet, but it’s disturbing that it’s a well-known fact. Yet he does nothing about it. In fact he almost encourages it. Very rarely does he ever do a “post”, say in the way Bossip or Crunk and Disorderly would that has “bangers” or beautiful pictures of minority celebrities. He hates Jessica Alba for a snub according to some of his loyal flock. He seems to have a hard-on for dismantling Fantasia herself. She can do no right. So what’s his problem? I’m not sure, but it sure makes me laugh that a gay Cuban male is all about that type of bullsh!t. He can’t control what comments are left (maybe he can but it seems awfully unrealistic) but he can control his incendiary posts. He just has a way to make the freaks come out. He NEVER seems to find pretty pictures of Fantasia for example, but he only seems to find the unflattering ones. Unfortunately, he can’t even wear his bias well.
Does this picture:

Warrant this:

Mammie called and wants her pancake syrup back Fantasia…did they braces in the slave era? Wonder how they cover that up on stage…she can only eat watermelon and chicken so many times during the show…???

From a reader named “Callie”

TMZ reports that Paris Hilton was walking around yesterday with a Holy Bible and “The Power Of Now: A Guide To Spiritual Enlightenment.” Wow! You know what really stumps me though? How she didn’t burst into a ball of flames and burn to ash, like a vampire to sunlight, while holding that Bible. Send someone to check that hand of hers I BET it’s scalded and bleeding. We don’t believe you! You need more people! Stuntin’ ass. She needs an entire Southern Holy Ghost Revival to baptize her in a tsunami for her to be saved.

These two flowers of female virtue, Candice Lang and Cedra Neeley, arrested for robbery? It can’t be! Just look at the crusty scab of virtue on Cedra’s face and the horribly drawn eyebrows! And Candice! Nobody would believe a dark goddess with such an angelic used, blonde weave would injure anyone, right? Well apparently they did, and on several occassions. A male tourist from Minnesota came in to New York for a good time with a girl named “Tiffany” after he answered “her” ad on Craigslist, but found himself jumped and beaten when they tried to run up on his pockets. The girls were arrested on robbery charges for the incident with this nasty son of a b!tch tourist. I can’t believe it!
It’s not the first time either. These skanks have been robbing cats all the way to New York from California and Las Vegas.

The tourist, whose name was not released, was assaulted and robbed by the woman and her female partner, who was hiding in the hotel room closet, police said.

Candice Lang, 19, and Cedra Neely, 18, each stand about 5-feet-2 and weigh 110 pounds - but police say they’ve become quite the pilfering pair.

They’ve been arrested twice in the past week for robbing and assaulting their unsuspecting johns in midtown hotels, a police source said.

I am still laughing at the black chic’s weave. DAMNED SHAME!
At first I felt bad for the guy, but single or not he’s still nasty. I guess he thought the prostitutes in Minnesota weren’t good enough, or maybe Myspace stock in hoes went down.

Last year the pint-sized Brit had a good year. She was everywhere, and her song “Love Me Or Hate Me” was the jam. I won’t lie even I had to download a few of her songs but then, as the year pressed on, we heard less and less as Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse started to do their thing and take over the love of the ever fickle American public (you know I’m not lying either). So as I made my daily rounds on the net I found this on Pigez Hilton Perez Hilton. He didn’t want to say anything because he’s a sell-out, but I will. She sounds seriously pained. Listen to what she says. She needs the money, she’s broke and I ask myself: WHERE THE HELL DID YOUR MONEY GO, Sovereign? See that’s what happens when cats use up that advance money and their cd isn’t that tight. Check out her tirade here:

Apparently Tom Cruise’s bottom b!tch Katie Holmes is not pleased with her name being used for non-Scientological purposes. A young skank woman who claims to be a “virgin” says she would like to turn her first experience into a movie…..a porno movie to be exact. She wants to put it right out there so she can “learn from it.” She’s changed her name to Katee Holmes for her porn name and the real Holmes is not pleased. I wouldn’t be either! I mean this is the year of the Ho for real. Add that to your Chinese calendar and smoke it! I mean I certainly can empathize with Katie. That happened to me once. Mmm hmmm…some girl wanted to “honor” me by getting ran through by the football team here at some high school in Tacoma but instead of playing off of my name, to capture my true essence she said, she changed her name to Skeezy McSleazy! I have NO idea what that’s about. From the NY Post

A blond-haired, blue-eyed fashion student, who claims to be a virgin, has changed her name to Katee Holmes and is launching a porn career in which she’ll be deflowered in her first movie. And that’s got the real Katie Holmes’ camp in an uproar.

“It’s a really cheap shot,” a rep for the actress, who’s married to Tom Cruise, told Page Six. But Shy Love, an adult film vet who manages the 5-foot-9, 122-pound Katee - a small-town girl from Illinois - insisted: “Katee is using the name as a tribute to Katie, who has always portrayed an innocence in everything she’s done, beginning with ‘Dawson’s Creek.’

Hell I don’t know WHAT Katie’s worrying about! Tom will make homegirl disappear in an instant. Watch! They’re going to find her on the set butt-naked, with her mouth sticky and a “note” explaining why she took so many Quaaludes.